The Truth About Sacred Union…

The Parvati Myth:-
The Goddess of sacred union, devotional love. Her story derives from being an incarnate of a previous wife of the God Shiva. Shiva was in grief of the death of his wife and decided to meditate in a way that kept him in a state of being unable to be reached for ions of time, rendering him unable to fulfil his duties that were needed of him. So, it was decided to send down Parvati to awaken him from his meditation. Nothing she tried worked. He was not interested. She decided to devote herself to her own spiritual practice. Although she yearned so deeply for him, she chose to no longer be in suffering for him to come back and recognise her. It is said she meditated very often, she opened and moved her body to embody her flow, she stood on one leg in a running river…. Each day of inner devotion she did, her Shakti (energy) grew. Her inner flame grew so powerful that it erupted out of her in a glorious release of energy and continued to flow. This was felt by Shiva, who tested her devotion of him, and when her reply came in complete devotion, they embraced and began their gorgeous, glorious union- both whole and powerful and also choosing to merge together on occasions…. When they make love, the earth quakes, the trees receive and great healing light explodes around them- it is boundless, connected, wise and healing love.

When I was told many years ago, “You are a Parvati woman” by an astrology reader, I didn’t know what that meant. I knew something was missing from my life. Something was being yearned for- hidden somewhere deep within my psyche. Somewhere that wasn’t quite ready to be reached….

It wasn’t until I began diving deeply into the mystical truths years later through esoteric mystery schools, that I began to understand a smidge about what he was on about all those years ago. I had found my devotion, the fact that I innately knew that love was something not being represented in media, or in movies, or modelled by those who I saw as a couple…. At least in the way that I yearned it for myself…. The best way I can explain the inner knowing was that this was God somehow, but in union between two people, or in union within Self if not in relationship. It is a verb, not a noun. It is purity. It is grace. It is the great awakener. It cannot be contained within conditions of owning, of possessing, of having… and yet somehow can be…. It is enticing, it’s a riddle for the mind that can never be solved… It is to be surrendered to, and with every fibre of your being- yearned for.

This yearning for union with something so potent that it can fry your system if you do not have a guide, or are doing practices to support this deep and devotional voyage, and/or have tools to drop below or above the ego when it rises to be able to stay with your inner alignment. A balance between the two energies within (feminine and masculine) is needed to be able to come together within Self or with other in devotional, juicy, deep sacred union. It’s a huge journey. One where you will be constantly reminded by events that happen that ‘I know nothing’. Humbleness is key, we never can determine the outcome of such a quest as this.  For this sacred act is the un-manifest being born. It is a complete co-creation with the Universe, a letting go, a deepening into self being so present that there can be no return to the life you once lived. You cannot unlearn what you become…. and become you shall in this crazy journey should it be yearned for deep within your soul.

Sacred Union: What it is, Truly
You can read beautifully written articles on ‘whether your partner is a twin flame, or a soul mate’, you can read articles about runners and chasers within these contracts…. you can even read articles about how to draw one to you…. This is interesting on how crazy it can be on this path…. The mind actually takes over and becomes the Master- and the truth, the letting go, the being ok with the unknown takes the place of the servant. When the mind takes over it can make someone go into delusions…. into fantasy… fall back into conditioned expectations on how a relationship or inner awakening ‘should look’, and away from the truth that this energy holds, and if the control factor is released (which takes courage to trust in blind faith), it really is a magical divine dance with the Universe.

Interestingly, there isn’t much written about how it actually never (or rarely) aligns with your ego and what you think you want. The message that rings so potently in your ears when you come across a vibration so evenly matched with your own that it shakes up all of your systems at once and sends your energy off the richter scale for months and months…. heightens your senses and intuition…. and has nothing to do with romance (although it’s a nice idea, right)? The universe provides what your soul needs to learn in this partnership of sorts that is only a partnership in so far as it is aligned with soul growth. Life lessons of patience, of focusing on Self, of trusting the path, of opening despite ego wanting to protect yourself, of constantly choosing ‘love’ and divine mystical truths as opposed to fear and conditioning around what love is and what it should look like and all of the blocks to it. This is quite a steep slope to walk. If one or both are not ready or prepared with their own practices then the union will be completely ripped apart, not allowed to come together until or if there is alignment and wholeness within both parties…. Devotion of the self and your own soul path must be embodied before you can truly be devoted to another. Or at least be in the process of embodying this.

Now, this sounds cruel- keeping two souls apart who yearn sacred union- right? Wrong. This is potent, potent universal energy. If one or both are not in their power and alignment within themselves, then it can be a crazy, chaotic and powerful force very difficult to regulate within. Often this can lead to mental illnesses as the ego battles with being kept from the lover they want… as well as other physical ailments within the body.

A word of advice (from personal experience)- trust in the timing, always. If there are constant things in the way, then stay within your own practice, as Parvati did. Stay in your own alignment. You cannot control with the other is doing, however you can devote yourself to your own truth and prepare for the meeting should it occur with the same soul who you met, or with another aligned with you. Stay the course. Trust in the path. Let go. It is a delicate balance of yearning and self practice. The yearning is USED for the practice. Transmuted in the fire of sacred truth which burns away all that does not resonate with the sacred union of the highest vibration. Being at one and whole with Self is the practice. Continue this path if you are on it.

Burn baby, burn…..

All my love,
Elise

Art by Jah Ishka Lha

To My Future Lover …

What if we allowed ourselves to be taken by the current
Within this vast and deepest of oceans?
What if we dared to let connection and truth rule
Despite the chance of heartache?
What if we became so brave as to dare to love
Without knowing the outcome?

Featured art by spirithealingsoul

 

Turning Around and Facing the Unknown (reflection)

I can remember holding space for a mystery school over in America a couple of years ago. There was a process where I was called to join in with the women. In the centre of the group was the group of people I was patterned to process with- slightly lower vibration, beautiful, but for me at this moment in time it was comfortable. I moved toward what I had always known and just like that, one of the women ran from behind me and took that place- like a door closing. I was in no where land. I wouldn’t turn around, but I could feel the pull to something I have never experienced. To that which scared me so much. But I had so yearned it at the same time- sacred union in process. I wouldn’t turn. The facilitator said multiple times, “There’s another process to take place here…” And still, I didn’t let myself move, forcing myself out of processing. I got in the way of the simple divine unravelling. Before long the session ended and I was left with a vital lesson that I am now applying to my life:-

When faced with a decision that excites me and scares me a little, it fills me with joy and challenges me- I will allow myself to turn and face it, surrender and let life flow through me and trust each moment to step, move or touch in whatever I am called to, in devotion of everything including my very life…. Or the other choice is to stay with my back turned to other possibilities my life has to offer and remain within the well worn tracks the spinning wheels make in my life staying with what is. For me, I feel I have travelled along the path enough to feel that going back to what has proven ‘comfortable’ to me is no longer available, the door is shut. And I know what way I am going to continue to choose to live every moment of my life from now on….

With love,
Elise

Image from Disnep

As the ceiling crumbles

The ceiling I had just wasn’t a good fit.
I tried to patch it when it got heavy-
When it leaked,
When it sagged,
When it got stained…
And now it has been completely destroyed.
Taken down, pulled apart. In hasty renovations.
I wasn’t ready, or so I thought. Mess everywhere…
The work man apologised. Said it’s best that I not see the destruction phases
But where was I to go? I was watching the perfection of it all-
Unfolding before my very eyes as the ceiling crumbles….
He told me it will be like new, clean and undamaged
when all is set right…
I looked at the mess on the floor,
The mess on the exposed skeleton of the ceiling
And I saw my life. The one I tried to patch.
The one with stains, marks, and things that are no longer a fit.
I realised that I keep the ceiling there as it is.
Patching and trying to mask the stains that inevitably bleed through
For all to see.
I feel like the exposed ceiling beams, naked and revealing….
I am witnessing it all as I sit outside watching the destruction
happening within my home.
As the ceiling crumbles…

Featured art by Zsuzsanna Tasi
Written by Elise Heyward

The Life That is Waiting for Us….

“You must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

 

I had planned it from the age of 4. Built my whole identity of who I was around it. I had decided the world was dangerous and I was going to fix it. I would be a Police Officer. Throughout my upbringing I acted as I thought a ‘Police Officer’ would act. Said no to things that many people in their youth said yes to. I towed the thin blue line before even joining. I was responsible, very responsible. I was dependable, and held very high standards for myself on my reputation I was building. At the age of 23 I joined the NSW Police Force, I became what I always wanted to ‘be’. I fell in love with my superior officer, and after four years of being ‘in the job’, I married him and had children taking maternity leave and working part time. My children began to open me to the fact that I had been on auto pilot, desperately wanting to keep my husband happy- but who was depressed or anxious a lot of the time, desperately clinging to my identity of the dependable protector, out to catch the ‘bad ones’, and right the wrongs…. My children saved my life. It put a spanner in the identity I had created for myself. I stopped drinking alcohol, which I did to give me the courage to be able to put down my barriers I had built to have deep and meaningful conversations, to connect deeply with others. I felt so alone…. After having my first born, I went back to work and gained a shoulder injury that needed two lots of surgery. I was finding more time. More space…. We decided to have a second child and I was NOT going to have another bad labour. I found Yoga and meditation and did it throughout my pregnancy without skipping a day of practice…… It was my first opening and felt like I was making love with the air, with myself…. It was the first time I opened enough space to feel my life force energy- and it was palpable.

Whilst meditating I dared to connect to my baby. I found when I breathed in, he would move around, thankful for the extra space, and when I would rhythmically exhale, he would rest and relax…. I had visions of the room, even the door with the number of the room I was in, ‘222’. I was so connected to my life force and feminine intuition. Little did I know this would prepare me for the best labour and birth I could have ever imagined. Ancestors surrounded me, and held my back and loved me. I wasn’t in fear, and I definitely wasn’t alone (despite my poor husband at the time doing his best but absolutely terrified). I went back to Policing and my back immediately went out. I couldn’t stand up. No one would touch me- doctors, Physio… because of the swelling. I was desperate for some relief, or healing, or something… and I came across reiki. This practitioner helped to love the pain to relax, my swelling started to go down the more I relaxed and stayed away from work…. I went back to work three weeks later but not for long. I could feel it was the end (and lets face it I didn’t want to have my body go through something else to have more time off). So I resigned on good terms, just knowing my time was up. Luckily, my husband at the time didn’t much like looking after the kids whilst I worked and so it was agreed he would sell his investment house and I would stay home with the kids and start a tea business.



I dove into the opposite energy that I had been working with- I was being lured into embodying that gorgeous life force energy in a huge way- I was heading into embodiment work which I had never heard of before. If it wasn’t for the teacher being a deep soul sister of mine, I may have ran out of the first workshop I ever went to. Sexuality, sensuality, love, flow, power, truth, dark/ light…. I sold my car to be able to afford to work with this teacher for five weeks 1 on 1. And after five years, my teacher became my mentor, and I became an embodiment facilitator. My identification I had for myself was shifting rapidly. I was letting go of the masculine Policing parts, and balancing the two in an androgynous union within myself. It was becoming a love affair. I wanted to deepen the potency of my masculine energy and so dived into an intense meditation course which took over one and a half years to immerse myself in and complete. During this there were two deaths in the family prior to COVID hitting, and then there was the start of COVID, and my marriage break down. Once again, another layer of identity gone. I decided to do nothing with my business. I didn’t know what was up or down. I was being stripped bare. All of my fears came to the surface. I abandoned myself so many times. I drank alcohol. I ate less than healthy foods. I went back to my husband. I tried desperately to fit back into societal mould. I had a plan: I would shut off the Shakti. Yep, I would shut it down. I realised I couldn’t get back into the square, no matter how much I thought I had wanted to. My soul was not in the relationship. I couldn’t be with my ex. I ended the romantic part of our relationship permanently.

‘The dark night of the soul’ took me into a dark, lonely place. I turned my back on everything, even myself. But, Ancient Egyptian mysteries whispered to me as I dreamt. It called me as I would try to sleep…. I surrendered to it and sat at my computer. What flowed through was a workshop I was to run online about the wisdom of Thoth- an ancient Egyptian God. It was only until I did this workshop that I could feel a jolt of life and magic in me again. Synchronicities started to happen in my life again. I realised that I was self inflicting my suffering and I was the only one who could get myself out of it. I reached out to a friend. The next day was what changed my life. Long story short, we connected with a group of women who we did embodiment practices with many years ago, all to connect. My ‘Anum Caras’ which means soul friends in Gaelic. We gathered, we danced, we embodied- for the love of ourselves, for the love of each other, for the love of the world that keeps breaking our hearts time and time again. All the while honouring the sensitivity we have to it all, honouring the courage it takes to feel and be open, heart soft in a world where it is not unanimously practiced. So, I opened again. I let the life force pour through me. I let it move me. I wept, I sang, I laughed… I let go into this life. I said ‘yes’…

Why now?- Because I can no longer fit into the square of keeping quiet. I know others will feel this, relate to it. Rise to the challenges of life. I went from being a disconnected Police Officer who was entirely unhappy with the life I had chosen for myself, to learning how to step toward the life that is true for my crazy wild energy and in alignment with my soul. If I can do it in the way it looks for me, then you can, too. I am grateful for the lessons that life has thrown at me which have given me so much life experience, in a way that it has developed my masculine to be in alignment with my feminine and it feels so, so good. I am pushed out of my comfort zone to share this with you as part of my knowing it’s time to step out and to serve. I hope others can see their own continual story as something to be grateful for as you walk through your life, gathering the amazing nuggets of wisdom along the way.

Embodiment workshop coming soon…. Let’s dive!



Sending love and support to you,


Elise

To work online with me click here
https://www.instagram.com/connection_meditations/

Never Ever Alone (poem)

I yearn for the sweet, crisp wind blowing in my face,
The long dry grass tickling my legs,
The fresh flowers beautifying my gaze,
The scent of the flowers intoxicating my senses
I yearn for deep connected conversation
As I sprawl over pillows on the floor-
Relaxed and open and ignited by soul connection
With dear friends and truth filled words
I yearn for the fire to flare in my body 
To burn and dissolve all that I thought myself to be
To entrance me in my dance and my inner gaze
My movement and simultaneous stillness
In that space where there is no separation
Between what is perceived as opposites
Oh, going into the depths of ecstasy
Of opened surrender and movement, of dance…
Deliciously gyrating, and letting go, letting go, letting go…
I yearn to move with others in sacred ancient connection.
And simultaneously to be aware of my depth, witnessing and still.
For those of us who have touched such moments
Are changed forever and left parched dry
For the fluidity of another gathering,
being beautifully vulnerable, supported and
held in unconditional love and humbled in truth.
Traversing the realms and timelessness,
Embodying truth and living it in our lives.
Having a sense of belonging in this crazy world.
Connected, we rise and fall in the life we each lead…
But never, never are we ever alone. 

Crawling Back to Being Just Me (poem)

There are times I lack flow,
Understanding,
Openness….
There are times when I feel so heavy
All I can do is close my eyes
And give myself to me
Over and over again….
There may be no more beauty
than a sledge hammer.
There may be no more passion
Than a piece of cardboard.
But what is left in this moment?
What is left when all is peeled back
When I come, I sit in this place?
Me- unmasked.
Me- prepared to face truth.
I needn’t act in any way
I needn’t impress others
I needn’t talk to anyone
I may just be here in all of my shit
In all of the self talk, in all of the ugliness
In all of the unmistakeable truth
And here, here I sit, here I breathe
Here, just here in my humanness
Learning to love all there is right now
To love all the fears, the ugliness, the broken bits
Being okay, being okay with just being okay.
Just me. Being just me. Exploring just me.

Featured art by Graham Dean

Click here for my latest meditation to support yourself right now.

The Beloved Pause in Our Beautiful Symphony (poem)

It is the pause between the notes played where the music is most felt and experienced….
It is the pause between the in breath and the out breath where the unknown and peace dwells….
It is in the pause of the open, connected, courageously vulnerable naked gaze into another’s eyes where true intimacy is experienced and explored…..
The pause…. oh, the pause…. so delicately balanced, holding the opposites of emotional drama with stillness and silence… of unwavering witness with quivering anticipation of the next ‘note’….
This silence, oh sweet delectable silence that highlights the energy within the most potently intimate crevices of our beings and interactions.
May we never lose an opportunity to experience the simple delights that life has to offer.
May our lives become a beautiful symphony.

All my love,
Elise

Art by Autumn Skye
Written by Elise Heyward

Live. Live. Live. (reflection and poetry)

I was contemplating after having my first night out with the girls dancing ‘just because’ and having fun for over fifteen years, what happened? Where did that time go? How did I wind up taking myself so god damned seriously? Oh, oh… responsibility. Kids. Marriage. Sleepless nights. Money woes…. oh, yes. I forgot…. But I did realise what inhibits me from being more present in my life now. I realised what I think about like a hamster in a wheel, constantly returning to set patterned thoughts within my mind. It revolves around still putting pressure on myself for things to look a certain way or wishing things could be different. Then I go into fix it mode. I spend more energy on trying to handle the situation so no one gets hurt. No one is put out. No one thinks little of me….What a waste of energy! When I was out, dancing to a dodgy band in a club with my old school friends from a ‘short’ time ago, I could feel my body come alive. Like CPR paddles jolting me alive with every beat the drummer played. The sweat forming, my muscles working to move me in whatever way my body felt called to be moved, and me pliable to every beat, note and chord felt. Letting the music move and writhe and sway my body which was slowly coming back to life…. The words: ‘Live, Live, LIVE’ echoed through me and reverberated like an endless thunderstorm deeply within as it pulsed through my body- the earth. Oh, to let go of control and let my body become the music…. sweet, sweet surrender…..

Here is a message for me that I got as an undercurrent when I was out. If it is for you, too then great!
‘It doesn’t have to be a quick snap- a quick change. Just step one step closer and when you know it’s time to step then do so. Do not force yourself to step based on others opinions, wait for that drum, that thunder inside to tell you. And that pressure you put on yourself on how things ‘should’ look, or how you wished things could be different….
This is it. This is your life.
So LIVE it
Whatever situation you find yourself in.
Live. Live. LIVE.
In the mud. In the heart break.
Live. Live. LIVE.
In the mourning. In the turmoil.
Live. Live. LIVE.
There is more to you.
So much more…..
Go inside. Feel that more.
Let go of control.
BE IN YOUR LIFE.
FEEL YOUR LIFE.
RADIATE YOUR LIFE.’

Wherever you are at with your soul path, it can be hard. But LIVE anyway. There is gold even in the shitty bits. Well, I’m reminding myself of that so I thought I’d remind you too.
To being real. To being authentic. To being here for ourselves in our precious life.
I’m here. Turning up. Who’s with me?

Art by Vanessa Lemon
Written by Elise Heyward