Turning Around and Facing the Unknown (reflection)

I can remember holding space for a mystery school over in America a couple of years ago. There was a process where I was called to join in with the women. In the centre of the group was the group of people I was patterned to process with- slightly lower vibration, beautiful, but for me at this moment in time it was comfortable. I moved toward what I had always known and just like that, one of the women ran from behind me and took that place- like a door closing. I was in no where land. I wouldn’t turn around, but I could feel the pull to something I have never experienced. To that which scared me so much. But I had so yearned it at the same time- sacred union in process. I wouldn’t turn. The facilitator said multiple times, “There’s another process to take place here…” And still, I didn’t let myself move, forcing myself out of processing. I got in the way of the simple divine unravelling. Before long the session ended and I was left with a vital lesson that I am now applying to my life:-

When faced with a decision that excites me and scares me a little, it fills me with joy and challenges me- I will allow myself to turn and face it, surrender and let life flow through me and trust each moment to step, move or touch in whatever I am called to, in devotion of everything including my very life…. Or the other choice is to stay with my back turned to other possibilities my life has to offer and remain within the well worn tracks the spinning wheels make in my life staying with what is. For me, I feel I have travelled along the path enough to feel that going back to what has proven ‘comfortable’ to me is no longer available, the door is shut. And I know what way I am going to continue to choose to live every moment of my life from now on….

With love,
Elise

Image from Disnep

The Depths of Women and Self Perception Around Money

“The difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.”

Maya Angelou

Recently, I’ve gone deeply into the meaning of detachment and what it means to be fully embodied whilst practicing this ancient teaching. Something stood out like a zit on a smooth face…. I, like all of us, have adopted thoughts and beliefs from the collective, from friends, from partners and from my family. Some of these are bloody amazing! Some of them are so limiting. Some beliefs are rooted in both the masculine and feminine. Today I am focusing on the feminine aspect- and how it touches the lives of women. I have done loads of shadow work around sexuality, around deeply embedded wounds in the feminine and being a woman that is generational. Around healing capacities and how others might perceive me if I allow myself to be of service in this world. There is an extension to this is women in the financial world- not participating, or educating ourselves. Or limiting what we do earn, placing restrictions based on self worth, or belief. Staying ignorant to anything does not create change- so if you are a woman who hates ‘the system’, wouldn’t it be best to know how it works so that your money could be used to help create change, instead of being ignorant which opens the door to becoming a victim? It’s time to step up.



As part of my shadow work with this for myself, I joined a live stream for an investment option which I was intrigued about. A man on a livestream of his financial institution I was on to educate myself once rather arrogantly declared a response to me after I typed a response to a question he asked in the chat, ‘education is power.’ He explained how wrong this is. I could feel a little trigger, so I knew this to have truth for me in it, he said, “Education isn’t power, action is”. If it wasn’t for this words, delivered on a large live by the loud and ambitious man in the finance business, I wouldn’t have ventured into this at all. What a gift. My ‘action’ was diving into this huge shadow and outdated belief structures I was living under. It wasn’t buying into his financial investment option! Set on course for this, one question I asked myself as I curiously dove into the wonderful world of women and finance, I asked myself the question, “What is stopping the ‘action’ part for me then?” I had to detach myself from the outdated belief structures and feel myself and my own energy. From here it took me further into myself and this shadow work, I began to learn, listen to podcasts, take courses, read books, listen to audiobooks. I was fascinated with this question.

I dove into these little facts:-
* Thousands of years of men creating money and women in the support role
* Women were seen as ‘property’ and the origin of marriage set up to aid this
* Women not given the vote
* Mainstream living opposing much of the strengths of women



Now, I’m not beating up on men, because in this fast paced world, the pressure has been on men to stay in this role. And that pressure is showing. I’m simply exposing the root of the cause we see today, and unless something drastically changes it will continue. One thing we haven’t looked at is the impact that generation after generation after generation of not needing to earn or create money, and what that has to do with the way so many women are now. Sometimes not even being allowed to make money. Of outdated but often carried beliefs such as ‘I won’t find a man who wants me if I make money’, or ‘don’t be greedy’ or the guilt of not being with children because you may have the outdated belief deep down that says mothers should stay home with their children, how about this one- ‘women should sacrifice their life for their family’. OOMPH! Outdated beliefs are HIDDEN, so you could be reading this and thinking that isn’t related to me- I implore you to go deeper, to listen to thoughts and write them down- find the cause of them and accept them, see them. Actively work to change them- moving the body, creating a meditation specific for this, AND getting support. Having outdated beliefs leads to uncertainty, a lack of self esteem and a continued catastrophic issue of women not having freedom of choice in this world. It’s all there, in our lines. I just had to shine a light on it. It was hurting not to share.

I am so passionate about this, I can feel an embodiment class around this soon. It takes more than thought and mantras to move deeply embedded beliefs from our body and mind. Let’s overcome how we think about ourselves. Stay tuned…..
With love,

Elise

Life…. The Journey and Reflections (musing)

At the core of this journey we are all on called life, I can’t help but be amused, dragged through the mud and chewed up and spat out every time I think that I have this whole thing understood. It really is very humbling. I was talking to a friend on the phone yesterday when I came across where true courage to take on that conscious journey in life (heroines or heroes journey) lies and how it shows up. I realised that I was taking this whole ‘life thing’ so seriously that I wasn’t having fun, or enjoying the simple things like smelling flowers or slowing down to enjoy the sweet taste of a piece of fruit. No- I had become so invested in my spiritual journey that I wasn’t able to truly immerse myself in my life. I thought deeply underneath, that I had to do my spiritual work ‘separately’. But by doing that I was creating duality in my world, and losing my concentrated energy within- essentially my essence was seeping out. That manifested into my physical world with becoming more tired than usual, and feeling like I had not much time to myself. When I decided to go easy on myself, to immerse myself into whatever was presenting itself to me in life, I am finding it was creating such a rich, fertile experience for me to experience in the moment, and it became a beautiful way for me to reflect upon to get to know myself in a deeper way. I realise there is no difference between me going away on retreat, or staying home and truly being present AND participating with what is going on around me, in front of me and within me. I need not separate spirituality with the physical world, for it is in it. It is one. It is that which makes us whole. To be present in our lives is the spiritual practice for our soul. Acceptance of what is, having no resistance to how things are in the moment, and from here in the truth of how something is in the moment brings us to the depths and heights. Brings us to love. To God. To something far greater than our individual lives we lead: Truth.

Is it as simple as not wishing to be elsewhere, or wishing things to be different than what they are? Or wanting something? Is it really pointing to where we are to see the truth of our life as it stands now? To be in it. To turn up. Now, in this moment?- without worrying about the next move, or the one after that? Is it really as simple as the great Sufi Poet Rumi once wrote, “Wherever you stand, be the soul of that place?” Breaking this sentence down, for me, I experience this quote to mean something along the lines of:- Being unashamedly who I am, aligning with the integrity of that in any given moment, and having loyalty to Self first so that truth can be lived, felt, spoken and expressed.To me, this sentence encapsulates the very essence of the heroines/ heroes journey. It isn’t at all what I had previously thought it to be…..

Featured image by Kevin Moffatt

To connect with Elise’s work, join her 4 week Zoom meditation group here

 

Your Passionate Servant (poem)

I wish I could make you feel
the light that I see in you
The light that I feel flooding through
my body, through trees….and everything…
The energy that wants you to stop
That wants you to feel and not think
That wants you to experience- not force.
Faith is a burning deeply within me
Tears form in the knowing we are one
I can’t convince anyone, but I can know it
In my bones, in my whole body, in my hair
In every single cell in my body….
There is more.
There.
Is.
More.
I’ve seen it. I’ve felt it. I’ve embodied it.
That which cannot be spoken… in concentration.

But every now and then you get glimpses of IT
In everyday life-
In your deja vu, or when you fall in love-
In that first precious ignition
That…. That- there IT is….

Know this:-
I serve one thing- IT-  the light in you and me
In everyone. That truth, that power, that grace, that love….
That perfectly balanced energy beyond the individual
But within each of us…..
So, I will be here. Loving, passionately devoting myself
To that…. all of that…. Nothing less…
No matter if you see it or not.
I will still continue…
I will still continue…
I will still continue…
Your passionate servant

Never Ever Alone (poem)

I yearn for the sweet, crisp wind blowing in my face,
The long dry grass tickling my legs,
The fresh flowers beautifying my gaze,
The scent of the flowers intoxicating my senses
I yearn for deep connected conversation
As I sprawl over pillows on the floor-
Relaxed and open and ignited by soul connection
With dear friends and truth filled words
I yearn for the fire to flare in my body 
To burn and dissolve all that I thought myself to be
To entrance me in my dance and my inner gaze
My movement and simultaneous stillness
In that space where there is no separation
Between what is perceived as opposites
Oh, going into the depths of ecstasy
Of opened surrender and movement, of dance…
Deliciously gyrating, and letting go, letting go, letting go…
I yearn to move with others in sacred ancient connection.
And simultaneously to be aware of my depth, witnessing and still.
For those of us who have touched such moments
Are changed forever and left parched dry
For the fluidity of another gathering,
being beautifully vulnerable, supported and
held in unconditional love and humbled in truth.
Traversing the realms and timelessness,
Embodying truth and living it in our lives.
Having a sense of belonging in this crazy world.
Connected, we rise and fall in the life we each lead…
But never, never are we ever alone. 

Woundings- Core Work and Opening to the Divine

Today I listened to the Great Marianne Williamson about forgiveness and releasing. She made some valid points – namely that we can choose to let the woundings, the lack of forgiveness, the judgements, the ‘fill in the blanks with your baggage’ and step into 2021 free of these, or at least consciously looking at them and being willing in any moment that life presents an opportunity to you- to change a behaviour or pattern that you ordinarily react with. Even a slight change can make a world of difference. She asked for all of us to collaborate in love. To be a collective of loving individuals prepared to change within for changes to occur outside of us. I love that. So here’s the thing that gets me. The hardest thing to do this in is relationships. I see this in sister wounds and group wounds. I see this in intimate relationships. I see this in relationship with Self. The more there is heaviness, or awkwardness provides the best manure for growth. This is the place to step into our woundings- whatever they are, and humbly see what’s there with compassion for self. We all f*#*k up from time to time.

It’s time we forgave ourselves and others. Open up to the mysteries, the magic, and the miracles that exist beyond our attachments to our heavy woundings.

It’s almost an identity we can have- “This happened to me when I was…. He did this….. My Mum did that….” The people involved, the situation, or whatever is there that is being held onto has power over you. The more unwilling to forgive is a reflection of YOUR inner world and not the person that did something to you or the circumstance that happened. Let’s go a little deeper:-

Victim: First recorded in 1490-1500 from the Latin word victima sacrificial animal (Dictionary .com).

When we look at this we are not animals- nor helpless, nor are we being sacrificed. We may be at the time of atrocities, of unfairness. But, we clearly are still alive- have not died. The alteration of the meaning of this word has taken away power. Forgiveness is the soul cleansing act that reclaims it. To get to forgiveness is to trudge through the woundings, or that which separates you from your essence and connection with others. This is an arduous task, but one that sings hauntingly to those who are called to the path of the soul and the lessons born to experience in this life. We are meant to make mistakes- that’s how we learn. Sometimes, people get hurt. We get hurt. We have a choice. To stay here- or to see it, honour it, LEARN from it- then let it go. In doing so we can then reach  place of forgiveness. It doesn’t grow on trees. It’s not a pill we can pop and then ALL will be forgiven. It’s life’s challenge to rise above, learn and grow. And this takes courage.


Hero/ Heroine: A person noted for courageous acts, or a person considered as a role model for certain traits.

When these are applied to the inner journey of truth, otherwise known as the Hero/ Heroines Journey (of which we are all here for in differing ways) is of true empowerment that ultimately leads us to have faith and let go and trusting one meets challenges and gathers the tools/ knowledge/ understanding needed to face them. When we look at ancient mystical teachings, opposites exist and must. Where there is light, there is dark; where there is feminine there is masculine; where there is cool there is heat etc. When there is a problem- there is also presented a solution. It is up to us to be the clear vessel to enable the solution to be embodied and lived. It is not just about logic. This is a soul deep immersion that spreads throughout the body. The mind can get the hell out of the way and in fact can be used in a manner to aid in the embodiment, complete immersion on the path. It must. Before the sword of truth goes outward, it first must be turned onto self so that we can see our woundings, or fears that may express unhealthily outward toward others. The ‘sword’ I speak of can be thoughts. When a negative thought comes up about another, turn it around. Look at it. With compassion know that this comes from somewhere within you and find that place. Sit with it. This is an investigation, thank that thought as this is a way to understand and release a wound or fear within you that otherwise would not be touched and essentially left to fester and ooze its way out and into our life. We have doctors and nurses who investigate our external physical wounds, letting us know if there needs to be more treatment, more investigation…. but our inner wounds are our responsibility. We have the answer within that comes when the wound arises. That we can trust in, when we do the work of looking at the truth within, we can open to the solutions. We just have to be prepared to see what’s happening and let go into the process of life to go on the journey to release them when they present.

So, our openness, our freedom, our life force is up to us. The more we hold onto woundings or judgements or other negative aspects of our mind, the more we move away from our power. When we have the courage and compassion to step into the challenges presented to us in our lives, the more we create space to let go, to unravel the pain and anger the wounds etc have on us, and forgive- not so much for the other person, but for ourselves and our growth whilst in this body.

Sending so much love and empowerment to you as you step into 2021. Know that you aren’t alone- we are all here to help walk each other home.
Elise

Featured Image by Shelley Klammer

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A Poem: She Walks Into The Storm

The wild woman beats within her bosom
The rain pelts down on her face
Her roles are forgotten now
In this moment of opposites.
The road is warm beneath her
The rain pelting down is cool-
She feels both simultaneously
on her body, and laughter arises…
Out of the bliss and ecstasy
Rising through the body, where energy abounds
Thrusting through the core of her being-
The storm in her personal life
Seems so small and inconsequential.
Grateful for being so unable to control
The weather that is wild
The storm causing blackouts
The lightning flashing around her
The thunder vibrating ground that holds her
Yes. No control…….
Just surrender to the difficulties-
No control, keep stepping into the eye of the storm.
No control, can’t see through to the peaceful weather
No control, finding peace in that, surrendering…
No control, a gentle reminder to live for now
To trust in the moment, to feel the sensations
And to learn, be humble, and have courage
Trusting in the process, no matter the storm

Elise

Featured image: Zlatko Music Art

Inner Flame Connecting All

The flame burns so brightly within her

Her body open, supple and conduit to both worlds

Caught for a gorgeous moment in the huge, open dark space

Where ions of time exists between her gentle, deep breath-

Nourishing herself and All around her-

Connecting All

She travels through civilisations- with her thirst for truth unquenched

Healing those who are unaware by simply embodying her natural essence

She is beyond words, belonging to no one but herself and the divine

No matter the challenge, she feels her inner flame, constant, burning.

Sacred keeper of the soul journey, nurturing protector of the inner flame

Gorgeous Priestess of all that is sacred.

Rise within us All.

 

 

The Guiding Truth: How do you Face It?

“You cannot let life break you. Instead let it build you….” Caroline Myss

 

Truth is there. Unbridled and resting within our core.
Truth is there. For those with the courage to see it, to feel it, to embody it…
Truth is there. For everyone to listen to, to open to, to trust….
Truth is there. Though not usually jumped into….
Truth is there. Though fear aides the turning away from it
Truth is there. Though many suppress inner knowings and numb awareness
Truth is there. Though can’t be controlled as we enter the deep unknown
Truth is there. Though painful ends and shattered dreams may result
Truth is there. It lurks in the dark, knocks on our doors and sends us constant messages
Truth is there. Addictions, suppression and numbing reigns if unwilling to see it
Truth is here. Say yes and watch our soul journey take off.
Truth is here. Surrendering all that we thought was right before.
Truth is here. Energy is growing and new contracts are formed
Truth is here for those with the courage to face it
Truth is here for those who don’t have the courage to face it
Life serves us our individual lessons, forming who we are becoming along the way.
Truth is the guide through the unknown. Truth is always there for us to dive into…
Truth is the guide through our Hero’s or Heroine’s journey.
Truth shapes who we are, and it’s the way we face truth as we embark on our journey
That is most important now.

Written by Elise Heyward

Featured art by Chirila Corina