Is it ‘Un Holy’ Poem (explicit Pluto channel)

Exposed for all to see
Truth cracks me open like an egg
The yoke of my heart ablaze
I am burning, burning, burning……..

Would it be ‘un holy’ to desire
Would it be ‘un holy’ to want to fuck?
Would it be ‘un holy’ to feel my skin standing up-
As if pleading for more of a delectable taste or touch…
Would it be ‘un holy’ to want to experience and explore in this world?
Would it be ‘un holy’ to actually live the life I wish to live?
Would it be ‘un holy’ to embody my desires, be truly aware of them?
Rather than to pretend they don’t exist and shove them back down again
This world can be so dry, so ‘pure’ in it’s piles of cowardice excrement
That the truth gets masked over
Gets watered down.
Get’s diluted so as to not shock, or alarm others,
To stay as a ‘good girl’.
To not ‘rock the boat’.
When truth rises to the surface, and it will….
When it detects the putrid stench of hiding
This is a time for raw, honest truth- or else it is in vain
And we fall back asleep again with a thousand woes.
To accept and surrender to who we really are,
What we really want,
Or to go on that path of finding out just what that is-
Without influence or conditioning placed upon us
Is perhaps the easiest translation of the ancient wisdom
Left for self realisation to know thyself intimately
And claim all parts left hidden in the shadows or underworld.

Featured sculpture by Goran Josic

A Discussion on Fear and an Invitation.

Life isn’t supposed to go to plan. How do we truly know what is the best for us anyway?

It feels important to admit that we don’t know. That this life baffles the mind- let’s face it we are born, we live a short childhood, a long adulthood and die (typically). Inside of that we need to make money to exist in this structure of society we live….. Fear can weigh us down. Recently, the thought crossed my mind ‘how did money become the main focus here?’. It somehow slips in when I am not looking and bunkers down deeply into my psyche like a bad house guest that won’t leave, stinking up the place. No. That’s not me, babe (Johnny Cash). I know that I KNOW there is something else and every time I get sucked into this fear based thinking I would love to be reminded- there’s more. I am going to check in with myself and ask: How do I feel right now? Just to pause and ask that question is going to help beyond the drama that may be going on.

I’ve decided to challenge myself, and feel free if you want to join me- I am going to ask myself the question, “Is this from fear or openness?” Then I can go into “How do I feel right now when I’m doing this/ being with this person/ going to work etc?” And finally, the best question of all, “What is the truth I am ready to see?”

I am going to challenge myself to live in the moment, to trust in the path, to make choices based on the above questions. If you feel ready, let’s do it together. Stay tuned…..

All my love,
Elise

Art by Oxana Poberejnaia

The Guiding Truth: How do you Face It?

“You cannot let life break you. Instead let it build you….” Caroline Myss

 

Truth is there. Unbridled and resting within our core.
Truth is there. For those with the courage to see it, to feel it, to embody it…
Truth is there. For everyone to listen to, to open to, to trust….
Truth is there. Though not usually jumped into….
Truth is there. Though fear aides the turning away from it
Truth is there. Though many suppress inner knowings and numb awareness
Truth is there. Though can’t be controlled as we enter the deep unknown
Truth is there. Though painful ends and shattered dreams may result
Truth is there. It lurks in the dark, knocks on our doors and sends us constant messages
Truth is there. Addictions, suppression and numbing reigns if unwilling to see it
Truth is here. Say yes and watch our soul journey take off.
Truth is here. Surrendering all that we thought was right before.
Truth is here. Energy is growing and new contracts are formed
Truth is here for those with the courage to face it
Truth is here for those who don’t have the courage to face it
Life serves us our individual lessons, forming who we are becoming along the way.
Truth is the guide through the unknown. Truth is always there for us to dive into…
Truth is the guide through our Hero’s or Heroine’s journey.
Truth shapes who we are, and it’s the way we face truth as we embark on our journey
That is most important now.

Written by Elise Heyward

Featured art by Chirila Corina

Maturing and Tenderising on the Sacred Path

Maturing is a difficult thing to do on the spiritual path. It’s the meeting of the ‘real world’ relationships with your practices to connect with God/ universal energy…. It’s like sitting and marinating in your own juices. Man, is it easy to get out of that hot pot, or pressure cooker. We all have our ways to distract ourselves. But, to stay doesn’t just reveal willingness to be uncomfortable, to feel emotions, or to enter the unknown… no, maturity is the ability to feel all of those things mentioned, AND STAY for the truth underneath it all, not denying any of it. But, staying. Emotions will run, you will want to run… but staying is like remaining in the pressure cooker to become more tender than before. To become more open than before. To unravel the built up callous of the past and return to that soft, transparent, beautiful, radiant Self. The softer we are the more the light can enter us.

The softer we become in the pressure cooker, the more willingness we have to look at ourselves and the more wisdom we gain within. We know ourselves deeper. We have the courage to open, yet the wisdom to know where truth is and act upon it:- How truth feels, how truth looks, how truth becomes a knowing deeply within, how truth becomes wired deeply into your daily system. You know the ooozing energy of truth and the glimpses of it and oh, it’s the most beautifully ravishing thing witnessed in your life. AND you feel the feels of untruth, the stench of untruth, the taste of denial, the lies believed by an overactive mind… and the one that feels the worst is the heaviness and darkness of the lie you speak not just to yourself but outside of you. ouch. That one hits so hard, so hard. But, it’s human, and beautiful too. It can be transformed if you are willing to get into your own pressure cooker.

Practices with being gentle with yourself are vital with this. Being true to you first is so important. There is no forcing. When you are ready to see another layer of yourself the Universe will provide a beautiful scenario to play out. Lean into the process, surrender over the attempts to control it. A willingness to see thyself and any parts within that is needed for maturing. It’s a beautiful, humbling tenderising act, but very rewarding. In your own time. The maturing of each individual is very much left to divine timing. If we try to rush, what part of us is rushing?- ego. Trust in your divine path, know things are unravelling. You are doing fine. You are exactly where you need to be…

With so much love and reverence for your path,
Elise

Featured image by Ulysses Albert III

Both sides of the Coin

Being ‘in it’, being vulnerable, being stuck in the grind of life, being sad, angry, grieving is sometimes a reality. Where responsibilities, commitments and other things seem to be present and take our time, where helplessness exists. But there is another side to life that we often fall short of seeing or feeling, especially during the busiest times in life. That is the divine, or sacred. That which is invisible. That energy which flows around and within us. It is our soul. Pure and simple. Your soul is not just within your body, it is around you. IT IS YOUR TEMPLE. It is felt by others. It can leave the body and surrounds at any time, perhaps it is faded and spiritually strangled from our consciousness…..perhaps it is vibrant and bright. We exist during a time when only that which is physically seen can exist, and so many of us are faced with breaking this simple conditioning straight off the bat in our evolution, and it ain’t easy to break the norm. It is way too easy to have doubt within us, or placed there by outside influences. But, for now… let’s bring our attention to the soul.

So, how is your soul? Let’s do a quick check in! Do you serve the soul, or the ego? Pure and simple. I love the simple applications in life- every time I do something I reflect- what am I serving here? The highest in myself, the highest in Other? Or is there something else happening within me that I can get enthusiastically curious about? Yum, I love investigation time… Practical ways this can show up in life can be something like the following;- where do I feel the need to explain myself in my personal life? Is there something that feels heavy or just yuck when I speak about something or someone? Is there something within me that feels ‘off’ off when I speak with someone? Am I not speaking my truth of how I feel (notice how this feels within you when this happens)? Do I doubt myself? Do I trust myself and my integrity? Pause here and bloody give yourself a breath if you catch yourself here in one of these thoughts or situations. No matter how triggered you are, pause and take a breath. No one can force an answer straight up. Take the time to know yourself here, this part of yourself right now. Be intimate with it, as if you were holding space for a friend going through something. Often we can cause more crap if we romp in aggressive and distant, pointing that finger which can so easily point out to ‘other’, back to yourself, bring that energy back. Fuel the investigation of what’s going on inside of you with your own attention. No judgements. Just compassion for the human in you. What did you find underneath? This is simple, yet effective.

Life situations sometimes become difficult, testing, and exhausting. But these times are the fertile ground in which to grow through these things and gain wisdom which leads to thriving and truly living the authentic blue print of your vibrant soul. To have both sides of the coin, to know that you are human and can have stresses, pain, grief and that’s perfectly fine….. AND to have a life in service of the divine, feeling that connection, nurturing that connection daily. Both can be done. I have come to realise in my life, one actually complements the other. There is no perfection on the path to truth. There are life lessons, and the divine. Both are true in gorgeous sacred union within form- your body, your life. The invisible is mixing with the visible every day.

So, the next time you want to play small because your life is in shambles, or you want to wait until everything is just perfect in your psyche…. think again. You are on the right track. Keep going. It is, and as long as you live in the collective, always will be truth. Both sides of the same coin. Flip it, and see what arises more today. Just know both are there at the same time in this precious thing called your life.

Being a Mother on a Spiritual Journey

Firstly, it needs to be pointed out that being a Mother in society at the moment still has conditioning and expectations attached to it about how this should look. Here in Australia, women still feel the pressure of putting their children and family first. It’s a revolutionary act to put Self first- self care and passions, above family. Revolutionary! Why? If we don’t look after Self, how can the family be vibrating in the highest potential?

There is a basic way of looking at this- every person who walks the earth right now is unique. Sure they have traits or archetypes that are strong/ weak within them, so essentially, let’s look at how the individual can best fit within the social constructs of the archetype of Mother. And what happens if you don’t fit the mold of how a Mother should behave.

Let’s break this down. The archetype of accepted ‘Mother’ expression is the Earth/ nurturing Mother
Traits: Nurturer, gentle protectoress, home maker, loving, selfless, generous, flowing, grace-filled, connecting family nucleus, raising young, homemaker, supportive

I’m writing to expose the fact that if you don’t fit this mold it’s OK. If you have ‘Mothers’ guilt’ for doing what you love- but having guilt of not being with your children, I’m here to tell you it’s worth working through that. Looking into why it is you feel that way. Is it because you feel it’s not in alignment with the conditioning and therefore you are judging yourself the way others may…. or is it that it’s not in alignment with your soul? Is it your deepest soul truth to be with your children as the archetypal Mother you’ve been exposed to? Or is it that your soul is fed elsewhere to then return back and nourish the family with passion- with energy- with a deeper connection to Self that only helps a growing family, rather than restricts it based on a single approach on how to Mother in an expanding and dynamic world.

I had a conversation with a woman who is receiving advice from her parents to stay at home for her children. But this woman needs to be free of the home two days a week to feel herself away from her roles, her titles and her obligations. So when she returns home she is refreshed, happy in herself and able to bring her confident self to her family. We spoke of there being a new way to move in this. A way that gives the finger to how things ‘should be’, a way that gives us the permission to explore what best works for ourselves in our own unique systems. How to best support our familes, children, and ourselves in this world. It’s no longer enough to say, ‘Right you’re a woman- you’ve had children. Now this is your life until you’re old.’ No! I will live my most expanded, passionate, amazing life NOW. And my children will reap the benefits of this.

We are not all the same as women. So why should the one aspect of Mothering be accepted as the norm? If it suits you, fine! But if it doesn’t then I challenge you to find out the way you can move with grace, freedom, passion and aliveness within the role of Mother that you find yourself in. Find a way to make it work for you without having that thought in the back of your mind about whether this is ‘right’ or not. The best fear tactic that can be used on us is the fear that we are f#%$^ing up our children’s life if we actually have the pull to enter the mysteries of ourselves when we have children.

It’s choice. There’s always choice. There’s a balancing out that naturally happens when walking the spiritual path and having children. Faith is needed. Patience. And a willingness to see the divine in the mundane. There are so many lessons of understanding Self- like where in yourself and what do you do you get a short fuse over! There’s a beautiful teacher right there- someone who can get you pissed off! Let’s face it, Kids are natural teachers!! Ha ha!!

The path is about connection and love- why should we separate our children from this path, and ‘wait until they are older?’ I see that as a deprivation to them. And also a lack of committing to a soul contract. If you are drawn to walk the path, it’s calling, it’s a burning flame within you that you cannot resist, nor should you, then your child who picked you as their Mother signed up for EXACTLY THAT! You, being authentically you. No matter how it looks, no matter what you are called to do to get to that- there’s the truth right there. Stop shoving yourself into a box. Explore, accept and go forth on the path of knowing thyself. Children are not shackles- we do that to ourselves in trying to fit a perfectionist role. Children are seeds we water to bloom. Be the cleanest water you can be for yourself and your own blooming, and for our children….

Written by Elise Heyward
Art by Seoro.O