Is it ‘Un Holy’ Poem (explicit Pluto channel)

Exposed for all to see
Truth cracks me open like an egg
The yoke of my heart ablaze
I am burning, burning, burning……..

Would it be ‘un holy’ to desire
Would it be ‘un holy’ to want to fuck?
Would it be ‘un holy’ to feel my skin standing up-
As if pleading for more of a delectable taste or touch…
Would it be ‘un holy’ to want to experience and explore in this world?
Would it be ‘un holy’ to actually live the life I wish to live?
Would it be ‘un holy’ to embody my desires, be truly aware of them?
Rather than to pretend they don’t exist and shove them back down again
This world can be so dry, so ‘pure’ in it’s piles of cowardice excrement
That the truth gets masked over
Gets watered down.
Get’s diluted so as to not shock, or alarm others,
To stay as a ‘good girl’.
To not ‘rock the boat’.
When truth rises to the surface, and it will….
When it detects the putrid stench of hiding
This is a time for raw, honest truth- or else it is in vain
And we fall back asleep again with a thousand woes.
To accept and surrender to who we really are,
What we really want,
Or to go on that path of finding out just what that is-
Without influence or conditioning placed upon us
Is perhaps the easiest translation of the ancient wisdom
Left for self realisation to know thyself intimately
And claim all parts left hidden in the shadows or underworld.

Featured sculpture by Goran Josic

The Process of Letting Go Into Change

The Process of Letting Go Into Change

It takes courage to look at your life with a willingness to start again. To have nothing. To surrender it all. Below is a piece for YOU. Know that you are not alone, and somehow, perhaps you can have refuge in these words, as I did watching them being typed out of my fingers. This is not a ‘how to’, or self help article. This is from one human to another. May your choices be aligned. May you feel free to live your most authentic life. May you feel connected to yourself, to others and beyond…..

Sending love and loads of hope for your journey,
Elise

No longer is it the gentle kiss as a whispered reminder of that which I cannot enter, but a deluge, a flooding, making its way through everything, dripping, drenching drowning the life I had thought up for myself containing the labels, the roles, the absolute identity…. and now…. now it is all being flooded in the rain that keeps flowing, in the tears that trickle down my face, in the swollen rivers and lakes pregnant with truth and leaking it out everywhere….. I know that I know….. Truth has a way of coming out…. Turn my face and pretend that the rivers do not spill, that the banks and their foundations are being destroyed. Pretend to be as I once was, content with the life I had created for myself, but not harbouring the whole truth until now it pulses and knocks down my door, breaks my windows and rampages through the safe house I had built, content but somewhere within deeply yearning…. I am holding onto the back door, swinging in the rampage, gripping onto the perception of who I thought I was. My fingers slipping, water pummels my head, my body, my eyes so that I cannot see… It comes strong and powerful yet with a whisper of a message, “Let go, let go, let go….”

 

Woundings- Core Work and Opening to the Divine

Today I listened to the Great Marianne Williamson about forgiveness and releasing. She made some valid points – namely that we can choose to let the woundings, the lack of forgiveness, the judgements, the ‘fill in the blanks with your baggage’ and step into 2021 free of these, or at least consciously looking at them and being willing in any moment that life presents an opportunity to you- to change a behaviour or pattern that you ordinarily react with. Even a slight change can make a world of difference. She asked for all of us to collaborate in love. To be a collective of loving individuals prepared to change within for changes to occur outside of us. I love that. So here’s the thing that gets me. The hardest thing to do this in is relationships. I see this in sister wounds and group wounds. I see this in intimate relationships. I see this in relationship with Self. The more there is heaviness, or awkwardness provides the best manure for growth. This is the place to step into our woundings- whatever they are, and humbly see what’s there with compassion for self. We all f*#*k up from time to time.

It’s time we forgave ourselves and others. Open up to the mysteries, the magic, and the miracles that exist beyond our attachments to our heavy woundings.

It’s almost an identity we can have- “This happened to me when I was…. He did this….. My Mum did that….” The people involved, the situation, or whatever is there that is being held onto has power over you. The more unwilling to forgive is a reflection of YOUR inner world and not the person that did something to you or the circumstance that happened. Let’s go a little deeper:-

Victim: First recorded in 1490-1500 from the Latin word victima sacrificial animal (Dictionary .com).

When we look at this we are not animals- nor helpless, nor are we being sacrificed. We may be at the time of atrocities, of unfairness. But, we clearly are still alive- have not died. The alteration of the meaning of this word has taken away power. Forgiveness is the soul cleansing act that reclaims it. To get to forgiveness is to trudge through the woundings, or that which separates you from your essence and connection with others. This is an arduous task, but one that sings hauntingly to those who are called to the path of the soul and the lessons born to experience in this life. We are meant to make mistakes- that’s how we learn. Sometimes, people get hurt. We get hurt. We have a choice. To stay here- or to see it, honour it, LEARN from it- then let it go. In doing so we can then reach  place of forgiveness. It doesn’t grow on trees. It’s not a pill we can pop and then ALL will be forgiven. It’s life’s challenge to rise above, learn and grow. And this takes courage.


Hero/ Heroine: A person noted for courageous acts, or a person considered as a role model for certain traits.

When these are applied to the inner journey of truth, otherwise known as the Hero/ Heroines Journey (of which we are all here for in differing ways) is of true empowerment that ultimately leads us to have faith and let go and trusting one meets challenges and gathers the tools/ knowledge/ understanding needed to face them. When we look at ancient mystical teachings, opposites exist and must. Where there is light, there is dark; where there is feminine there is masculine; where there is cool there is heat etc. When there is a problem- there is also presented a solution. It is up to us to be the clear vessel to enable the solution to be embodied and lived. It is not just about logic. This is a soul deep immersion that spreads throughout the body. The mind can get the hell out of the way and in fact can be used in a manner to aid in the embodiment, complete immersion on the path. It must. Before the sword of truth goes outward, it first must be turned onto self so that we can see our woundings, or fears that may express unhealthily outward toward others. The ‘sword’ I speak of can be thoughts. When a negative thought comes up about another, turn it around. Look at it. With compassion know that this comes from somewhere within you and find that place. Sit with it. This is an investigation, thank that thought as this is a way to understand and release a wound or fear within you that otherwise would not be touched and essentially left to fester and ooze its way out and into our life. We have doctors and nurses who investigate our external physical wounds, letting us know if there needs to be more treatment, more investigation…. but our inner wounds are our responsibility. We have the answer within that comes when the wound arises. That we can trust in, when we do the work of looking at the truth within, we can open to the solutions. We just have to be prepared to see what’s happening and let go into the process of life to go on the journey to release them when they present.

So, our openness, our freedom, our life force is up to us. The more we hold onto woundings or judgements or other negative aspects of our mind, the more we move away from our power. When we have the courage and compassion to step into the challenges presented to us in our lives, the more we create space to let go, to unravel the pain and anger the wounds etc have on us, and forgive- not so much for the other person, but for ourselves and our growth whilst in this body.

Sending so much love and empowerment to you as you step into 2021. Know that you aren’t alone- we are all here to help walk each other home.
Elise

Featured Image by Shelley Klammer

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The Guiding Truth: How do you Face It?

“You cannot let life break you. Instead let it build you….” Caroline Myss

 

Truth is there. Unbridled and resting within our core.
Truth is there. For those with the courage to see it, to feel it, to embody it…
Truth is there. For everyone to listen to, to open to, to trust….
Truth is there. Though not usually jumped into….
Truth is there. Though fear aides the turning away from it
Truth is there. Though many suppress inner knowings and numb awareness
Truth is there. Though can’t be controlled as we enter the deep unknown
Truth is there. Though painful ends and shattered dreams may result
Truth is there. It lurks in the dark, knocks on our doors and sends us constant messages
Truth is there. Addictions, suppression and numbing reigns if unwilling to see it
Truth is here. Say yes and watch our soul journey take off.
Truth is here. Surrendering all that we thought was right before.
Truth is here. Energy is growing and new contracts are formed
Truth is here for those with the courage to face it
Truth is here for those who don’t have the courage to face it
Life serves us our individual lessons, forming who we are becoming along the way.
Truth is the guide through the unknown. Truth is always there for us to dive into…
Truth is the guide through our Hero’s or Heroine’s journey.
Truth shapes who we are, and it’s the way we face truth as we embark on our journey
That is most important now.

Written by Elise Heyward

Featured art by Chirila Corina

Maturing and Tenderising on the Sacred Path

Maturing is a difficult thing to do on the spiritual path. It’s the meeting of the ‘real world’ relationships with your practices to connect with God/ universal energy…. It’s like sitting and marinating in your own juices. Man, is it easy to get out of that hot pot, or pressure cooker. We all have our ways to distract ourselves. But, to stay doesn’t just reveal willingness to be uncomfortable, to feel emotions, or to enter the unknown… no, maturity is the ability to feel all of those things mentioned, AND STAY for the truth underneath it all, not denying any of it. But, staying. Emotions will run, you will want to run… but staying is like remaining in the pressure cooker to become more tender than before. To become more open than before. To unravel the built up callous of the past and return to that soft, transparent, beautiful, radiant Self. The softer we are the more the light can enter us.

The softer we become in the pressure cooker, the more willingness we have to look at ourselves and the more wisdom we gain within. We know ourselves deeper. We have the courage to open, yet the wisdom to know where truth is and act upon it:- How truth feels, how truth looks, how truth becomes a knowing deeply within, how truth becomes wired deeply into your daily system. You know the ooozing energy of truth and the glimpses of it and oh, it’s the most beautifully ravishing thing witnessed in your life. AND you feel the feels of untruth, the stench of untruth, the taste of denial, the lies believed by an overactive mind… and the one that feels the worst is the heaviness and darkness of the lie you speak not just to yourself but outside of you. ouch. That one hits so hard, so hard. But, it’s human, and beautiful too. It can be transformed if you are willing to get into your own pressure cooker.

Practices with being gentle with yourself are vital with this. Being true to you first is so important. There is no forcing. When you are ready to see another layer of yourself the Universe will provide a beautiful scenario to play out. Lean into the process, surrender over the attempts to control it. A willingness to see thyself and any parts within that is needed for maturing. It’s a beautiful, humbling tenderising act, but very rewarding. In your own time. The maturing of each individual is very much left to divine timing. If we try to rush, what part of us is rushing?- ego. Trust in your divine path, know things are unravelling. You are doing fine. You are exactly where you need to be…

With so much love and reverence for your path,
Elise

Featured image by Ulysses Albert III

I Give Myself Over


I give myself over….


If I am to feel in love in a moment, 
A day, a month,
A lifetime…
With a heart so open and vulnerable


Then let it be so

If I am to have my heart break and reform continuously

Then let it be so

If I am to let go of attachments-  turning them over

Then let it be so

If I am to forgo conditioning of a lifetime
And the pain that brings

Then let it be so….

I give myself over ~

I give myself over ~

I give myself over ~

In love deeply with the mysteries
Which infuse my being so deeply-
So delicately, so tenderly…
Cradling and loving my fears…

With all the courage I can muster,
In this human fragility
In all of my imperfections…

Humbly, softly, and perhaps a little messily

I kneel….

I surrender

To this path, to myself, to the divine
And to All it shall bring.…

Yes…. Just yes…

I just surrender…

Art credit: Freydon Rassouli ~ ‘Surrender’