Your Passionate Servant (poem)

I wish I could make you feel
the light that I see in you
The light that I feel flooding through
my body, through trees….and everything…
The energy that wants you to stop
That wants you to feel and not think
That wants you to experience- not force.
Faith is a burning deeply within me
Tears form in the knowing we are one
I can’t convince anyone, but I can know it
In my bones, in my whole body, in my hair
In every single cell in my body….
There is more.
There.
Is.
More.
I’ve seen it. I’ve felt it. I’ve embodied it.
That which cannot be spoken… in concentration.

But every now and then you get glimpses of IT
In everyday life-
In your deja vu, or when you fall in love-
In that first precious ignition
That…. That- there IT is….

Know this:-
I serve one thing- IT-  the light in you and me
In everyone. That truth, that power, that grace, that love….
That perfectly balanced energy beyond the individual
But within each of us…..
So, I will be here. Loving, passionately devoting myself
To that…. all of that…. Nothing less…
No matter if you see it or not.
I will still continue…
I will still continue…
I will still continue…
Your passionate servant

Live. Live. Live. (reflection and poetry)

I was contemplating after having my first night out with the girls dancing ‘just because’ and having fun for over fifteen years, what happened? Where did that time go? How did I wind up taking myself so god damned seriously? Oh, oh… responsibility. Kids. Marriage. Sleepless nights. Money woes…. oh, yes. I forgot…. But I did realise what inhibits me from being more present in my life now. I realised what I think about like a hamster in a wheel, constantly returning to set patterned thoughts within my mind. It revolves around still putting pressure on myself for things to look a certain way or wishing things could be different. Then I go into fix it mode. I spend more energy on trying to handle the situation so no one gets hurt. No one is put out. No one thinks little of me….What a waste of energy! When I was out, dancing to a dodgy band in a club with my old school friends from a ‘short’ time ago, I could feel my body come alive. Like CPR paddles jolting me alive with every beat the drummer played. The sweat forming, my muscles working to move me in whatever way my body felt called to be moved, and me pliable to every beat, note and chord felt. Letting the music move and writhe and sway my body which was slowly coming back to life…. The words: ‘Live, Live, LIVE’ echoed through me and reverberated like an endless thunderstorm deeply within as it pulsed through my body- the earth. Oh, to let go of control and let my body become the music…. sweet, sweet surrender…..

Here is a message for me that I got as an undercurrent when I was out. If it is for you, too then great!
‘It doesn’t have to be a quick snap- a quick change. Just step one step closer and when you know it’s time to step then do so. Do not force yourself to step based on others opinions, wait for that drum, that thunder inside to tell you. And that pressure you put on yourself on how things ‘should’ look, or how you wished things could be different….
This is it. This is your life.
So LIVE it
Whatever situation you find yourself in.
Live. Live. LIVE.
In the mud. In the heart break.
Live. Live. LIVE.
In the mourning. In the turmoil.
Live. Live. LIVE.
There is more to you.
So much more…..
Go inside. Feel that more.
Let go of control.
BE IN YOUR LIFE.
FEEL YOUR LIFE.
RADIATE YOUR LIFE.’

Wherever you are at with your soul path, it can be hard. But LIVE anyway. There is gold even in the shitty bits. Well, I’m reminding myself of that so I thought I’d remind you too.
To being real. To being authentic. To being here for ourselves in our precious life.
I’m here. Turning up. Who’s with me?

Art by Vanessa Lemon
Written by Elise Heyward

Woundings- Core Work and Opening to the Divine

Today I listened to the Great Marianne Williamson about forgiveness and releasing. She made some valid points – namely that we can choose to let the woundings, the lack of forgiveness, the judgements, the ‘fill in the blanks with your baggage’ and step into 2021 free of these, or at least consciously looking at them and being willing in any moment that life presents an opportunity to you- to change a behaviour or pattern that you ordinarily react with. Even a slight change can make a world of difference. She asked for all of us to collaborate in love. To be a collective of loving individuals prepared to change within for changes to occur outside of us. I love that. So here’s the thing that gets me. The hardest thing to do this in is relationships. I see this in sister wounds and group wounds. I see this in intimate relationships. I see this in relationship with Self. The more there is heaviness, or awkwardness provides the best manure for growth. This is the place to step into our woundings- whatever they are, and humbly see what’s there with compassion for self. We all f*#*k up from time to time.

It’s time we forgave ourselves and others. Open up to the mysteries, the magic, and the miracles that exist beyond our attachments to our heavy woundings.

It’s almost an identity we can have- “This happened to me when I was…. He did this….. My Mum did that….” The people involved, the situation, or whatever is there that is being held onto has power over you. The more unwilling to forgive is a reflection of YOUR inner world and not the person that did something to you or the circumstance that happened. Let’s go a little deeper:-

Victim: First recorded in 1490-1500 from the Latin word victima sacrificial animal (Dictionary .com).

When we look at this we are not animals- nor helpless, nor are we being sacrificed. We may be at the time of atrocities, of unfairness. But, we clearly are still alive- have not died. The alteration of the meaning of this word has taken away power. Forgiveness is the soul cleansing act that reclaims it. To get to forgiveness is to trudge through the woundings, or that which separates you from your essence and connection with others. This is an arduous task, but one that sings hauntingly to those who are called to the path of the soul and the lessons born to experience in this life. We are meant to make mistakes- that’s how we learn. Sometimes, people get hurt. We get hurt. We have a choice. To stay here- or to see it, honour it, LEARN from it- then let it go. In doing so we can then reach  place of forgiveness. It doesn’t grow on trees. It’s not a pill we can pop and then ALL will be forgiven. It’s life’s challenge to rise above, learn and grow. And this takes courage.


Hero/ Heroine: A person noted for courageous acts, or a person considered as a role model for certain traits.

When these are applied to the inner journey of truth, otherwise known as the Hero/ Heroines Journey (of which we are all here for in differing ways) is of true empowerment that ultimately leads us to have faith and let go and trusting one meets challenges and gathers the tools/ knowledge/ understanding needed to face them. When we look at ancient mystical teachings, opposites exist and must. Where there is light, there is dark; where there is feminine there is masculine; where there is cool there is heat etc. When there is a problem- there is also presented a solution. It is up to us to be the clear vessel to enable the solution to be embodied and lived. It is not just about logic. This is a soul deep immersion that spreads throughout the body. The mind can get the hell out of the way and in fact can be used in a manner to aid in the embodiment, complete immersion on the path. It must. Before the sword of truth goes outward, it first must be turned onto self so that we can see our woundings, or fears that may express unhealthily outward toward others. The ‘sword’ I speak of can be thoughts. When a negative thought comes up about another, turn it around. Look at it. With compassion know that this comes from somewhere within you and find that place. Sit with it. This is an investigation, thank that thought as this is a way to understand and release a wound or fear within you that otherwise would not be touched and essentially left to fester and ooze its way out and into our life. We have doctors and nurses who investigate our external physical wounds, letting us know if there needs to be more treatment, more investigation…. but our inner wounds are our responsibility. We have the answer within that comes when the wound arises. That we can trust in, when we do the work of looking at the truth within, we can open to the solutions. We just have to be prepared to see what’s happening and let go into the process of life to go on the journey to release them when they present.

So, our openness, our freedom, our life force is up to us. The more we hold onto woundings or judgements or other negative aspects of our mind, the more we move away from our power. When we have the courage and compassion to step into the challenges presented to us in our lives, the more we create space to let go, to unravel the pain and anger the wounds etc have on us, and forgive- not so much for the other person, but for ourselves and our growth whilst in this body.

Sending so much love and empowerment to you as you step into 2021. Know that you aren’t alone- we are all here to help walk each other home.
Elise

Featured Image by Shelley Klammer

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Mars Energy- A Time to Reclaim

There’s no denying blame on this energy for many atrocities in the world. And rightly so….

The feminine wisdom has all but been wiped out- now there’s a resurgence.

But, where does that leave the Mars energy within both Men and Women?


There’s another aspect of Mars that is golden. That is pure. That lies beneath our intentions that can change our perspective of the world. Mars is a fire energy- potent, powerful and sometimes an aggressive force. But, there is a way to work with this energy- to embody it, to work with it with focus, with clarity and to actually do some shit in the world. Anyone drawn to working with Mars energy on a regular basis IS working the ancestral line. There’s so much buried pain, trauma, shame and dis-empowerment lying in this particular thread of shakti or energy in the world, and therefore deeply within our psyches. There’s just so much fear and disconnect. Working with ‘love and light’ isn’t gonna cut the mustard!

It’s time to walk into this. It’s time to open to this energy. It’s time to no longer lie underneath him and be conquered, victimized and quiet….

No. Now is the time to show him (this thread of energy within) gently with an open heart the connection he so longs for…the purity he desires and burns to attain- no longer through conquests, but via putting the sword to himself in a metaphoric way. To use his sword or arrow of white/ golden light with vigilance to penetrate himself/ herself to clean all of those areas within Self that are not in balance or rhythm of connection, empowerment of Self and Other, of rights, of freedom, of love and not fear- holding integrity above all. In service of the divine, of God.

For too long this energy has been buried beneath horrible instances generation after generation of constant misuse of power, greed, divisions within society, manipulation, and callous disregard for human life and the feminine. So much conscious work needs to be done…..

Mars energy is waking up, is becoming clean, is asking- ‘How can I help?- Give me a mission’, instead of saying, ‘Get in your place and give me what I want’…

It’s time we give our deeply buried Mars energy a job to do.

It’s time we dust off his Armour- blow love into the heart space, and whisper gently that which we desire to make manifest in our life and in the world…. Open heart, open mind, and an unstoppable drive to make shit happen….
What would you ask your Mars to do?

Art by Daniel Holeman
Written by Elise Heyward

Sacred Union For Radical Change

On my knees- heart open and spinning, tears in my eyes
Feeling so much….

I ask the energy I feel within and surrounding me:-
How can I serve from this place?
When all I have are my eyes, my hands, my voice, my body…
Something has to change!
I feel this is beyond me…
I surrender……

Infuse me with your grace….
Let me serve from this place.

So my ego cannot fathom the work that comes of our unity

Oh, let me surrender to this.

Let me birth this into the world…

Let me be humbled and reminded of my power in service

Let me serve from the highest place, from the deepest space of wisdom

Let divinity flow through and remove me from this:
Let my eyes be the eyes of divinity…..
Let my voice be the voice of divinity…
Let my hands be the hands of divinity….
Let my body be the body of divine love and grace….

I surrender this over. I open my channel- may you swirl your ancient wisdom

I ask for the courage to stand in truth.
Courage to Act on the inner knowings that tell me to ‘let go’.
Courage to allow sacredness to move how it wishes.
Courage to trust, stay open, supple and loving,
And serve from this place.  

For to stay in this world witnessing the lack of sacredness
And NOT step out of the way for the divine to flow through
Deeply hurts and is not living in my own truth-

To create space for a wave of radical change….

Author: Elise Heyward
Artist: Brenda Burke