Live. Live. Live. (reflection and poetry)

I was contemplating after having my first night out with the girls dancing ‘just because’ and having fun for over fifteen years, what happened? Where did that time go? How did I wind up taking myself so god damned seriously? Oh, oh… responsibility. Kids. Marriage. Sleepless nights. Money woes…. oh, yes. I forgot…. But I did realise what inhibits me from being more present in my life now. I realised what I think about like a hamster in a wheel, constantly returning to set patterned thoughts within my mind. It revolves around still putting pressure on myself for things to look a certain way or wishing things could be different. Then I go into fix it mode. I spend more energy on trying to handle the situation so no one gets hurt. No one is put out. No one thinks little of me….What a waste of energy! When I was out, dancing to a dodgy band in a club with my old school friends from a ‘short’ time ago, I could feel my body come alive. Like CPR paddles jolting me alive with every beat the drummer played. The sweat forming, my muscles working to move me in whatever way my body felt called to be moved, and me pliable to every beat, note and chord felt. Letting the music move and writhe and sway my body which was slowly coming back to life…. The words: ‘Live, Live, LIVE’ echoed through me and reverberated like an endless thunderstorm deeply within as it pulsed through my body- the earth. Oh, to let go of control and let my body become the music…. sweet, sweet surrender…..

Here is a message for me that I got as an undercurrent when I was out. If it is for you, too then great!
‘It doesn’t have to be a quick snap- a quick change. Just step one step closer and when you know it’s time to step then do so. Do not force yourself to step based on others opinions, wait for that drum, that thunder inside to tell you. And that pressure you put on yourself on how things ‘should’ look, or how you wished things could be different….
This is it. This is your life.
So LIVE it
Whatever situation you find yourself in.
Live. Live. LIVE.
In the mud. In the heart break.
Live. Live. LIVE.
In the mourning. In the turmoil.
Live. Live. LIVE.
There is more to you.
So much more…..
Go inside. Feel that more.
Let go of control.
BE IN YOUR LIFE.
FEEL YOUR LIFE.
RADIATE YOUR LIFE.’

Wherever you are at with your soul path, it can be hard. But LIVE anyway. There is gold even in the shitty bits. Well, I’m reminding myself of that so I thought I’d remind you too.
To being real. To being authentic. To being here for ourselves in our precious life.
I’m here. Turning up. Who’s with me?

Art by Vanessa Lemon
Written by Elise Heyward

Maturing and Tenderising on the Sacred Path

Maturing is a difficult thing to do on the spiritual path. It’s the meeting of the ‘real world’ relationships with your practices to connect with God/ universal energy…. It’s like sitting and marinating in your own juices. Man, is it easy to get out of that hot pot, or pressure cooker. We all have our ways to distract ourselves. But, to stay doesn’t just reveal willingness to be uncomfortable, to feel emotions, or to enter the unknown… no, maturity is the ability to feel all of those things mentioned, AND STAY for the truth underneath it all, not denying any of it. But, staying. Emotions will run, you will want to run… but staying is like remaining in the pressure cooker to become more tender than before. To become more open than before. To unravel the built up callous of the past and return to that soft, transparent, beautiful, radiant Self. The softer we are the more the light can enter us.

The softer we become in the pressure cooker, the more willingness we have to look at ourselves and the more wisdom we gain within. We know ourselves deeper. We have the courage to open, yet the wisdom to know where truth is and act upon it:- How truth feels, how truth looks, how truth becomes a knowing deeply within, how truth becomes wired deeply into your daily system. You know the ooozing energy of truth and the glimpses of it and oh, it’s the most beautifully ravishing thing witnessed in your life. AND you feel the feels of untruth, the stench of untruth, the taste of denial, the lies believed by an overactive mind… and the one that feels the worst is the heaviness and darkness of the lie you speak not just to yourself but outside of you. ouch. That one hits so hard, so hard. But, it’s human, and beautiful too. It can be transformed if you are willing to get into your own pressure cooker.

Practices with being gentle with yourself are vital with this. Being true to you first is so important. There is no forcing. When you are ready to see another layer of yourself the Universe will provide a beautiful scenario to play out. Lean into the process, surrender over the attempts to control it. A willingness to see thyself and any parts within that is needed for maturing. It’s a beautiful, humbling tenderising act, but very rewarding. In your own time. The maturing of each individual is very much left to divine timing. If we try to rush, what part of us is rushing?- ego. Trust in your divine path, know things are unravelling. You are doing fine. You are exactly where you need to be…

With so much love and reverence for your path,
Elise

Featured image by Ulysses Albert III

To The Battling Warrior

I Bow to You….

To the warrior with built up walls and thick skin

I bow to you

To the warrior reluctant to love, encased with Armour

I bow to you

To the Warrior who is restless and aimless

I bow to you

To the warrior who needs to be rigid- for now

I bow to you

To the warrior who is frustrated and fed up

I bow to you

For the Warrior who cannot fight anymore

I love you….

There is a divine timing to this unraveling….
No shame or judgement
Around whatever is needed now.
Just a beautiful knowing
That it’s all as it should be….
Let this be a message
For any tired warrior out there-
Get back up, and take this as your sign
Keep going... Gently pick yourself up...
Your life is waiting for you...

I bow to you.


Heart opening meditation offering :
https://youtu.be/iIl6K3dpu64