Keeping meditation teaching real, bringing vulnerability and truth to the moment is so vital to keep in alignment to be of service whilst teaching an important life skill. Perfectionism will go by the wayside if we can just relax and be our authentic selves giving permission for others to do the same.
I have been contemplating what meditation is and isn’t, to me. I have had extensive training in the more esoteric background and have now come into the actual learning of different meditation techniques and gaining the qualification to teach meditation to others. What I realise I do when I guide and teach meditation is merge the two teachings together. The pearls of wisdom from my previous esoteric teachers, gathered in chaotic circumstances to uncover truth in every moment and to live from this place, with that inner connection and embodiment is gorgeous and amazing. The stillness that came with some, or most of the techniques in meditation helped me to sink roots deeper and allow higher vibrations to more consciously flow through me in the delicious, deep and patient meditation methods. So that I could really steep in my own essence, witness myself with passionate intimacy and open my mind and body into a suppleness I haven’t experienced before in my life. From studying these seemingly opposite modalities, I can see how they both are a part of a continuum of ONEness. It is creating a beautiful merging of two opposite worlds and is simply enhancing my absolute respect for both modalities.
The more feminine approach is of letting go of restrictions, of embodiment, movement, to allow chaos, flow, rawness, beauty, power, grace, and love be a part of your life. Truly embody it and allow its expression to be present. To experience the plethora of different feminine expressions within each one of us there is a need to be willing to journey into a space of letting go of control for a period of time whilst being guided by the facilitator (at the start). This is opposite of what many western cultures, and in fact many cultures teach- which is control, balance, restrict, silence, not make a scene, don’t express the full range of emotions- truth in the moment. This is often seen as ‘uncivilised’ and archaic, as if we have evolved from this type of behaviour…. but have we really evolved?The basis of these teachings I previously spoke about revolve around the fact that it is energetic- the feminine. It is called shakti in the yogic tradition as the energy that moves form- the masculine. But, over thousands of years traditions have opted to serve only that which could be seen- the masculine physical world. So the feelings, emotions, energy within and around was ignored.
The teachings taught in the Occult traditions kept the flame of the relationship between the feminine and masculine energy alive. Focused on Oneness, in these teachings, both the energy (feminine) and the physical (masculine) were equally worked with. It was known that if energy is suppressed it doesn’t go anywhere, it is stored in the body. Furthermore, this can cause disease and illness in the body. The feminine practices work to release stored energy which presents itself as pain, tension, or perhaps it hasn’t become represented in the physical form yet. So the energy clearing occurs by allowing the body to simply release what it needs to release, by moving the way it needs to move could prevent the physical expression of this, and act as a preventative or a stress release of pent up energy, kind of like pressing ‘re-boot’.
Ancient Egyptian Cults played a huge role in continuing the energetic thread of this ancient wisdom. It is in the balance of these two extreme energies that we can gain balance- not from stifling them, or restricting them with how we perceive ‘awakening’ should look. Relate this to today, even meditation teachers fall under the pressure and culture of how they themselves should be. Now that I am adorned with this mysterious piece of paper giving me the authority to actually teach meditation to others, I have felt the energetics of the need to behave calm all of the time, or be perceived to be calm all of the time. That isn’t me. In this environment? During a pandemic? In lockdown with my two children? I have my personal practices which help me better parent and handle emergencies when called upon, but I do slip from time to time. I am human. I am perceiving in some circles some ‘acting’ other than what is true in the moment. My devotion is to stay real in the moment.
One thing to keep in mind is that there is no perfection in meditation. It’s a practice. Sometimes you go deep, sometimes you don’t. Honouring what arises wherever you are at in practice or in life is the perfection in it. Meditation teachers, or in fact even esoteric facilitators can get caught up on how they ‘should’ be perceived. What I feel is more important is truth. Is to show the humanness, as well as the amazing essence and divinity of someone. I can chat and even be telling a story before a meditation in my own authentic voice and expression that is relatable and HUMAN (sometimes I get excited and swear a little)- my point is, the sense of belonging can be shared. When it’s time for teaching and guiding meditation that ‘HUMAN ME’ slowly drains away and the depth of the practice comes in and service of the divinity or light, within a person and within the room is surrendered to in the moment, based on the energy of the room and who is present, we flow into a meditation aligned with this. Then after the meditation when everyone who wishes to share has shared, then I’ll chat and laugh and tell stories again. It’s a sacred union of humanness, ego and personality WITH connecting to something more than that…. just sublime….
Show me a meditation teacher who has done the work on themselves and I will see his or her authenticity. Being OK in their own methods, and styles, with life experience to have the maturity to hold space and willingness to learn from whatever is presented when it is presented is a must to gain the trust of those who are willing to enter the unknown with you. Humble to know it is the teachings, not themselves the people gather for. Devoted to getting their own ego out of the way to serve with sincerity, and devotion something higher than themselves within the room and within each person gathered. Leading by example only to reveal the truth that meditation is a tool to aid in the path of life- essentially entering the unknown and getting to know and connect to oneself in this amazing and often difficult process. It doesn’t matter which method you choose- masculine or feminine or bridging the gap between them, all can if taught in an intentional way, take you deep into connection and knowing thyself.
There are times when this is not always the case, for example some inherited diseases and illnesses, however doing a regular practice of what feels good for the body the soul has taken unique to each person, will help to reduce the ailments of the body in this instance. It is not simply a matter of moving the body and allowing it to subconsciously take care of things for you in the feminine. At least that hasn’t been the case for me, with two children to stay present for. I feel that we have evolved the masculine parts of us in this culture for a reason. Yes, there are distortions and the creation of patriarchy which has its faults, but we have the opportunity to bring consciousness or clarity to our lives. So, doing meditation under the more masculine method of witnessing, stillness, quietness is a perfect companion to the uncontrollable sometimes wild expression of the feminine.
For me, in my own practice, I cannot do one without the other, it feels like something is missing. The masculine helps us to live in this world, to be present to ourselves, to hold space for ourselves when things get difficult, to be witness with love, to act on plans and get things done out in the world. We need a healthy dose of this. But, in my teachings, there’s a gorgeous sacred union of diving equally into both, a cohesion. What one lacks, the other provides…. and vice versa. Oh, it’s such a beautiful path to walk on.
I hope you can join me in the future some time.
All my love,
Oh, touch my heart, deeper, and deeper still….
Take me to the unknown, whisper truths in my ear
Take my hand, join me intimately, be ‘here’ completely
May I have courage to enter the unknown-
From formless to form and back again,
Immersed so deeply so that I may not be able to
Detect the delectable delights of the form
From the permeating energy of the formless.
Both, balanced, simultaneously-
Poised in the moment, and the moment proceeds
For hours and days- loving, processing and being….
Beyond the mind, yet including the mind
Excluding nothing… Accepting all of me
Rebirthed into myself over and over again
The joy, the grief, the knowing, the exploration,
The passion, the pain, the bliss, the love-
Oh, courage do not fail me.
I’ll be there…. in the unknown,
Basking, glowing, growing, breathing, rhythmically moving
To my own song…
Written by Elise Heyward
Love beyond everything. Love beyond what the word means to you. Love beyond all conformity and things you think are true. Love beyond your mind and body. Love beyond the gentlest summer evening kiss….Love beyond partnership and roles and responsibilities. Love beyond your Self. Love beyond…. just beyond….And you will taste the sweetest of tastes, smell the most fragrant of flowers…Be touched by the most purest of intentions, entering and connecting the heart and infusing with the rest of the body, seeping into the depths of your being…. Loving, simply loving beyond- in whatever form it presents whether energetic or in bodily incarnated form. Do not pine for this, nor lust for it. It already exists within- like diving into a cool pool on a summer day: Let it surround you, immerse you, hold you, nourish you, provide the opposite of your potent elements within. Let it seep into your very core. And when you think you cannot bare it. When there is a moments pause to come up for air…. that is when you surrender… surrender and lay atop of the vast depths of water- letting go of all that lies beneath, letting go of thoughts, letting go of past and future…Trusting the sacredness and love of being in this very moment- so present that the heart bursts open with rays of truth…. Once touched by sacred union, no conditioned love in life will do…
Featured art: Sacred Geometry Shop
To be whisked away in the moment, to have a breath paused- hanging in the air-
merging with the air surrounding
Where does our breath end and the air around us begin?
All merged, all as one, connected beyond the mind
Energy flows like the breath…
One energetic hologram moves through, and over another
When there are soul contracts, one unique energetic thread
Can unlock and free another thread held back and kept dull….
All is working with the divine timing, individual spirals spinning
both individually and connected with The One huge spiral of life
Within The One spiral of life, All- everything is included.
Balancing all of the elements within Self finding the
opposite energies and seeing the absolute truth between- beyond mind.
Balancing spiritual mystical work with everyday chores and life- seeing ALL as sacred
Finding ways to practice- keeping that sacred fire burning for truth deeply within
well lit, feeling it with mindfulness, fuelling it with self wisdom, keeping us in the moment.
Practicing devotedly, with discipline to master the mind. Yet open with wild abandon to allow
the energy to flow through, like a lover, wildly ecstatic, receptive and gloriously open to the moment.
The true balance of yin and yang, masculine and feminine- both aware of their bodies.
Both longing to be merged into one, both holding the opposites and defying the brain
Both energies harboured within the body, both opposites like magnets.
Neither one more powerful than the other. One surrenders to the other over and over again.
Only in this surrender is there sacred union with the un- namable.
Each has its subtle and potent roles…. energy rules the natural physical result.
Letting go, accepting and flowing with the natural rhythm of energy
is the responsibility of ours on the sacred, sacred path of truth….
You are a science to study… a single spiral among many making up The All…
I want to say thank you…
Thank you to the clean masculine sacredly holding right now.
Meditating, loving, holding, embracing the changing instead of bracing in the change. Defying the fear rhythm that is descending upon the world, and sitting courageously in this, holding, trusting, feeling but not moving- praying for the feminine to rise to come and meet him. Lighting a candle for her to see her way, seeing through his intuitional eye, feeling with his open- still cool body, awaiting for the change she will bring. The change she must bring. The birth she is labouring through. He hears her screams of pain, feels her anger of war cries, tastes her blood and sweat as she claws herself free. Emotions swell in him and drip down his face, still he holds and stays open….. She has been imprisoned for too long, separated from him for too long.
He hears the inner call as she settles and purifies in her juices. He feels everything she has gone through in his stillness. He recounts all of her struggles, all of her pain, and the repression. Summoning all of his courage he stays, open. Feeling his breath, following his breath as it takes him into her, deeper into her… knowing this part of himself that has been separated for so long from him, his heart is blasted open with grief and simultaneous happiness at the union. One cannot survive without the other. It is a lonely desert within the mind without the flow and magic of the feminine, and it is a long lost dream, a figure of imagination too liquid and light to be brought into the physical to exist without the masculine. But when there is space…. Sweet, sweet space within the masculine, there is hope. When there is courage to be seen within the sacred feminine there is hope. Together, a hope is birthed, unbreakable and world changing. Together we must rise, encourage and love…. Within each one of us, put to rest the battle. Lay down your protective arms and your heated anger. Surrender over your fears and terrors…. It’s time to unite. Come back home….
Featured image by sacredgeometryartshop.
Sacred union is not something to be attained, it is something to be surrendered into. It describes the meeting of two opposites. The merging of dichotomy. And, for many it is the merciless path of the unknown, where energy becomes your master and lover, unlocking a passion for the sacred mysteries, a compass, and the only truth in which to live by. Serving the light, there are no guide posts in a one size fits all type of function. We are all so different. This brings me to a couple of points I am pondering: 1. How am I helping myself to serve the light? And 2. How am I helping others to shine their light? This is not a cheesy love and light message. This is a message that rumbles from the depths of the underworld, sends quakes and cracks up to your life, which is now being made visible. Areas ready to shift, pregnant with change and ready to birth the new. Where can you shed more light? In other words- where can you be more conscious? Where can you discover more about yourself, where can you hold more courage in light of being in the uncomfortable, about ingrained patterns, or woundings you didn’t know or see before. It is THIS which is the study. The practices are ways to work around the mind. But, there comes a time when we must connect to our inner being. The wise parts of ourselves without logic or reason. From here, we are preparing to enter the realm of sacred union.
For me, I love writing. I love letting energy flow through my entire body and out through my fingertips as I not so delicately typed on my keyboard. I feel this as sacred union. I sit, feeling my whole body, being present, opening and allowing…. then I get bursts of inspiration flooding my system and I can’t keep up with the words to be typed. Where these words come from, I know not. This is an example of allowing myself to merge with the unknown… If I didn’t allow space and time for this to happen, I wouldn’t be writing, or feeling connected. I have little control over what comes through, In fact I have none at all- only if I choose to edit should pieces of my ego flood into the words. So, often I do not edit. I like it raw, authentic, imperfect to the human eye. It is, after all a rough translation of the vibrational melody and rhythm I feel when I type. A connection to something else beyond… To me, that’s sacred union. Now, apply this to being with a person. Relinquishing control. Trusting the energy and where or how it moves you. Letting go of how it should look. Accepting Self and Other. Feeling connected to Self and loving Self opens the door to accepting love from others.
So, when two people come together ready to meet, and by that I mean meet intimately, energetically. The body comes with ease after the raw meeting of the energy and soul. It’s the surrender over to the soul or energy of the other person, the God in the other person where the two opposites merge. The brain cannot access thoughts, cannot access techniques which worked before, or whatever else goes on in the brain before sex. Instead an openness to what is present is felt. Acceptance of Self and expression of self flows beautifully and rhythmically… both meeting in the centre becomes a beautiful composition of music, unique and flowing with the two people who are making love. Where the universe opens and freedom in love and connection begins. The connection that runs through is the same space needed for creativity. It’s the God vibration. It’s timeless, embodied and a beautiful experience to have when both people are surrendered to both of each others highest and to the highest in all. I feel this in my bones that when two people meet from this place it’s healing not just each other, but if they merge with a shared prayer they hold in their hearts, when the energy of God merges within them and infuses with what’s in their hearts then it benefits the whole in that prayer. We become the embodiment of the prayer, connected to the divine source, and in service to the timeless, formless aspect of the other WITHIN the union of flesh. Re-writing thousands of years of shame and guilt for union in the flesh beyond the procreation entitlement. Beyond…. just far, far beyond…
Some people explain tantra as shadow work, and it’s true. But to truely practice and honour the energy here, we must also worship the light and connection present. We can’t let go into connection without doing the shadow work, and we must keep checking in with Self to ensure we are staying in alignment. It’s the merging of all opposites- both macro and micro level. It’s the study of Self and the willingness to openly learn more (keeping pride or embarrassment or any other emotion in sight) through union with another who is also doing the work on Self. It’s beyond body yearnings. It’s beyond all thoughts. It’s beyond your perception of who you might think is a perfect partner suit for you. It’s the playing out of divine timing and sacred contracts. It’s aligned with the ancient mystical laws. It’s making music that nourishes, nurtures and heals- creating a balm source of hope for humanity. For me, it’s the only way.
Featured image by David Heskin
My boys, I want you to explore all of yourselves.
The wild, the free, the amazing, the ugly side, the parts of you that not even you will see…
I wish you to be free of them in open acceptance of your imperfectly perfect humanity.
I pray that my parenting up to this point and in the future doesn’t set you back too much
From knowing the truth of who you really are. The mystical truth of who you really are.
That you are more than this body. More than the job you choose. More than your marital status.
You are a miracle.
May you stand up for yourself, your voice be heard, and know yourself enough to know your values
May you honour and love yourself enough to say ‘no’ or leave circumstances that hurt you.
May you stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves if and when you come across it
May you be fair and just to yourself, and to others
May you feel the truth that there is more than just the physical, may you feel, feel, feel!!!
May you have the courage, my dear boys, to feel emotions and allow their genuine expression
May you not restrict yourself to fit into the stereotype- know I will love you no matter what.
May you have the courage to love openly, to have so much compassion for yourself and others
May you feel connection
May you feel my support gently at your back as you step more into your own life-
Edging further away from me into the world. Know I will never stop being here for you to return to.
For a soft landing, nurturing and a springboard to jump back into life with.
Remember, you’re never too old for hugs, to cry, or to feel scared. That’s part of being human… Please don’t deprive yourself of receiving beautiful hugs in life. It’s a gift.
Please know you are helping to change the world, my boys.
Have courage to be a little different at times- or all of the time…
Step gently and respectfully on the earth, my sons. Open your hearts and feel connection.
Do your best. I’m here when you fall. I’m here when you rise. And whilst I am here doing that, I will be in my own rising and falling- living my life as fully as I can. I will lead by example, my boys. Let’s live!
I promise I will do the best damn job I can to raise you boys to give you the fertile soil from which to grow.
Featured art by Timothy Easton
Nestled deep in our ancestral line lurks fear in the individualized choice of worship of the divine. Pressure to conform to the ‘tribal choice’ existed thousands of years ago, and still does today. Many wars have arisen because of this ultimate rule over power and an immature, or unevolved approach to divine worship. This holds no space for a person to worship freely what their soul desires and requires as they open deeper and deeper and continue to gain higher and higher levels of consciousness on their journey that we call life.
In our life we have many words that have been adopted and used as propaganda against those who wish to stand up swim against the grain of the norm in society. The reclamation of our very right to follow that which sings to our soul, which lights us up, which connects us to something greater than ourselves, yet also connects us to that which is unique within us, without the finger pointing ‘witch hunt’ that is so present today and has its roots deeply buried within the constructs of society as we know it- the ‘word bomb’ or powerful fearful energy behind the word ‘Cult’.
Many are conscious of the witch wound within the collective. It is essentially the feminine line within us that holds magic, esoteric gifts, and energetic connection, rhythm, flow, seasons, honouring women’s moon cycles or blood cycles, the ancient art of midwifery, and much, much more including the worship of the divine via embodiment. It’s a line that needs space to exist and flow. It’s more intangible, and is life force itself. It’s a healing opposite of the masculine when the two co exist within ourselves and in the collective in a balanced way. The masculine line is rational, logical, physical and more tangible energy, is often linked to monetisation and has had dominance over the nearly extinct full expression of the feminine energy ‘line’. The feminine ‘line’- especially the powerful esoteric nature of it, has been suppressed over thousands of years and thus in its place has grown a huge bleeding wound, which many women are leading the way and healing within themselves right now through the feminine ‘line’, combining esoteric energetic cleansing practices with the masculine reflection to consciously bring about change within themselves, within their family ancestry and within the collective. By doing so they are ultimately diffusing the ‘word bomb’ of witch in the collective.
There is something that hits both the masculine and the feminine line EQUALLY:- The inability to worship the divine outside of the norm in society without being labelled as being in a cult. This needs to be flushed out. There is still a gaping wound linked to ‘witch hunts’- anything esoteric practiced in the past there was a threat of being killed, and a real fear of authorities who were employed to uphold that which was accepted to be the practice or religion during the time. In both men and women. The very creation of the Tarot cards was born out of the need to keep the DIRECT connection to the divine (without the use of a priest) secret, appearing as a game they were playing in order to not raise suspicion from authorities. This is trapped in our DNA, our ancestral line, our family patterning.
If we look at our family patterns we can see the authority figures. I have many friends, myself and my husband included, who have been accused of being in a part of a cult, or jokingly accused of it. If there is no logical explanation, or if it is too different from the norm, that label is attached. Makes no difference. If reclamation is what we are talking about, then it’s time to diffuse the ‘word bomb’, the negative connotation this ‘cult’ word has taken on. It’s time to reclaim our soul- filled authentic nature and f***k off outside fears to now shed this layer of ‘skin’ for our evolution and the evolution of the collective.
The word ‘cult’ actually came from the 17th century from the French word created from the Latin noun cultus (worship). So the word came from the Latin cultus- which means to worship, which was based on the verb colere- which means to care or cultivate (Wikipedia)! Interesting the energy behind the word- having an evil connotation to it today.
“This work is needed now to break the shackles of thousands of years of oppression keeping us within the confines of a low level of consciousness- or the same level of consciousness.”
If there was one thing to be taken out of this piece, it would be this: Anyone who takes the path less travelled, who dares to follow their inner devotion to what resonates with them for their higher development and best possible life, go for it. Do not be afraid of being deemed you are in a cult. This work is needed now to break the shackles of thousands of years of oppression keeping us within the confines of a low level of consciousness- or the same level of consciousness we’ve been in for a long time. There is more, much more….. You are limitless with limitless potential. We all are, we just need to reclaim that. So, continue your devotion to whatever it is. Or really jump into that which you have been dipping your toe into, for fear of being different or that tricky hidden ancestral fear that keeps you aligned to something that perhaps doesn’t fit in your life anymore. The world needs more divine connection, more energy, more passion, more joy, more bloody LOVE! Enough with the fear! Enough with the propaganda. Let’s just bloody live!
So, cult you say? Sure, whatever. I prefer to call it the path of truth, of connection, of really sinking my teeth into knowing myself while I walk this earth for such a short period of time. It’s time to challenge the confines within Self once again. It’s time to reclaim the right of divine worship however fits our unique soul imprint. It’s time to step into healing our ancestral lineage of this outdated fear.
Here’s my new podcast. Please do have a listen if it resonates. Key is to learn to trust the divine feminine shakti running through us- discussing why it’s so important to have our own divine masculine to rise to aid in our authentic expression of the feminine out in the world. So much healing, divinity and restored equal divine love can come of this trust and expression of the feminine- both within and also we will see it start to change around us as well. It’s time to step up.
Here’s the link:
Art featured: Elna Ray