Life isn’t supposed to go to plan. How do we truly know what is the best for us anyway?
It feels important to admit that we don’t know. That this life baffles the mind- let’s face it we are born, we live a short childhood, a long adulthood and die (typically). Inside of that we need to make money to exist in this structure of society we live….. Fear can weigh us down. Recently, the thought crossed my mind ‘how did money become the main focus here?’. It somehow slips in when I am not looking and bunkers down deeply into my psyche like a bad house guest that won’t leave, stinking up the place. No. That’s not me, babe (Johnny Cash). I know that I KNOW there is something else and every time I get sucked into this fear based thinking I would love to be reminded- there’s more. I am going to check in with myself and ask: How do I feel right now? Just to pause and ask that question is going to help beyond the drama that may be going on.
I’ve decided to challenge myself, and feel free if you want to join me- I am going to ask myself the question, “Is this from fear or openness?” Then I can go into “How do I feel right now when I’m doing this/ being with this person/ going to work etc?” And finally, the best question of all, “What is the truth I am ready to see?”
I am going to challenge myself to live in the moment, to trust in the path, to make choices based on the above questions. If you feel ready, let’s do it together. Stay tuned…..
Today is a ‘meh’ day. You ever get the days where everything moves in slow motion, even seemingly time. Usually it goes quickly! I wanted to come here and just be raw. Be real. I noticed I want to wrap myself in a gentle blanket today. I want to be so gentle with myself that outside influences feel like penetrating knives into my world. Such is my sensitivity right now….
So in the rest of this paragraph I am going to mention stuff for women- men, proceed to paragraph 2:
It is my time to be in PMS. It’s my time to honour what in ancient times in many different tribes around the world was honoured to be the most psychic and connected time for a woman. It is marked now by tiredness, anger, impatience in this time and responsibilities in the Western world…. but, the time prior to the period and during, in the past, women were honoured and how they served themselves with gentleness and quiet time to self and reflection, also served the tribe. Their roles changed. If a mystical question needed to be asked, they would seek out a woman who was in the ‘space’ to answer.
I have decided to be gentle with myself as much as possible. To flow with my own rhythm. Despite having two vivacious boys and a loud and often busy household. But if I turn my attention to it, then I can make a difference in my every day moments. I have found time to slip away and write this! But I am open to this being interrupted and changing. I am also hoping to meditate after this is typed out, in honour of the quiet contemplation and sacred rituals of my ancient ancestors, and bringing just a little more mystery into my quietude today.
I really hope that you can create time today for yourself and what you and your body needs.
Loads of love and hope,
There is beauty in heart break. There are those moments when an allowing or surrendering to what is occurs. When surrendering to feelings happen… there is such grace and poise in the acknowledgement of emotions. It’s that picturesque moment to sit in truth, allowing the emotions to come through when tears stream down your face. There’s no where to turn except into the grief- be intimate with the grief. There are things to learn about Self here, always. Allow the emotions to swell, break the bank, do whatever is natural for them to get out of the body. Don’t hold onto them. And when the release is done, ask of it, “What do I need to learn here from you?” These questions don’t make the pain or hurt go away, nor should we turn away too soon in the grieving process. But the questions exist as a way to keep turning into Self and not outward. To keep on the soul path. Your soul path. Endings will occur- losses will come and go in life. Being able to feel it all and be so present, but also have a strong witness and feel for soul alignment is central for this path when we come across heart ache, or loss of some sort. Pay attention to stories attached to the emotions. Emotions come in waves, stories can make you feel something for a long time. Emotions are a part of the emotional body and are impermanent and stories are when the brain creates hell on earth for us. We lose presence when we allow our brain to conjure up things. There is a type of sacred union that doesn’t aid our soul journey, and that’s the sacred union between our emotions and brain.
There are ways to grieve, like feeling, and allowing the natural cycle of the grieving process, learning truths about Self in this state. Sometimes grief will flow in all of a sudden and out again. This is something we CANNOT control! Perhaps that’s why as humans we tend to block or If we can stay present, we can learn a lot. This is consciously grieving, those on a spiritual path have a way of looking at their experiences to learn from them, as well as feel them. To know thyself deeper whilst hurting, this is like fertiliser – yes it’s poop, but it enriches us and deepens our courage and wisdom…. Another way is unconsciously grieving where we can create stories, project outwards at others in anger, stay as a victim therefore giving power away, subconsciously hurting others because the person grieving hasn’t grieved themselves, and re-entering painful life patterns. Behaviours of unconsciously grieving include numbing, avoidance, addiction, isolation, self sabotage. This can lead to depression and other mental illnesses.
Grieving is a huge part of life and one that our society doesn’t do very well. It’s like there’s perhaps a fear that once a person starts crying they may not stop, or they don’t want to seem weak, or don’t want to make the other people feel uncomfortable. Whatever it is, emotions are a part of being human. It’s revolutionary to feel and express them. We aren’t machines, so why should we behave like them? Good questions to ask ourselves when we are grieving are:-
What am I grieving?
Is there are story?
How can I surrender to this process?
What do i need to support myself?
Deleted: Am I spiritually by-passing (not being present to feeling the emotions)