Live. Live. Live. (reflection and poetry)

I was contemplating after having my first night out with the girls dancing ‘just because’ and having fun for over fifteen years, what happened? Where did that time go? How did I wind up taking myself so god damned seriously? Oh, oh… responsibility. Kids. Marriage. Sleepless nights. Money woes…. oh, yes. I forgot…. But I did realise what inhibits me from being more present in my life now. I realised what I think about like a hamster in a wheel, constantly returning to set patterned thoughts within my mind. It revolves around still putting pressure on myself for things to look a certain way or wishing things could be different. Then I go into fix it mode. I spend more energy on trying to handle the situation so no one gets hurt. No one is put out. No one thinks little of me….What a waste of energy! When I was out, dancing to a dodgy band in a club with my old school friends from a ‘short’ time ago, I could feel my body come alive. Like CPR paddles jolting me alive with every beat the drummer played. The sweat forming, my muscles working to move me in whatever way my body felt called to be moved, and me pliable to every beat, note and chord felt. Letting the music move and writhe and sway my body which was slowly coming back to life…. The words: ‘Live, Live, LIVE’ echoed through me and reverberated like an endless thunderstorm deeply within as it pulsed through my body- the earth. Oh, to let go of control and let my body become the music…. sweet, sweet surrender…..

Here is a message for me that I got as an undercurrent when I was out. If it is for you, too then great!
‘It doesn’t have to be a quick snap- a quick change. Just step one step closer and when you know it’s time to step then do so. Do not force yourself to step based on others opinions, wait for that drum, that thunder inside to tell you. And that pressure you put on yourself on how things ‘should’ look, or how you wished things could be different….
This is it. This is your life.
So LIVE it
Whatever situation you find yourself in.
Live. Live. LIVE.
In the mud. In the heart break.
Live. Live. LIVE.
In the mourning. In the turmoil.
Live. Live. LIVE.
There is more to you.
So much more…..
Go inside. Feel that more.
Let go of control.
BE IN YOUR LIFE.
FEEL YOUR LIFE.
RADIATE YOUR LIFE.’

Wherever you are at with your soul path, it can be hard. But LIVE anyway. There is gold even in the shitty bits. Well, I’m reminding myself of that so I thought I’d remind you too.
To being real. To being authentic. To being here for ourselves in our precious life.
I’m here. Turning up. Who’s with me?

Art by Vanessa Lemon
Written by Elise Heyward

You are a Powerful Woman

So you have more cellulite and carry more weight than before, and your skin may be losing its elasticity and wrinkles may form. Your eyes may be sunken and bags beneath your eyes become darker. And outer influences pressure you on how you should look, parent, and be in relationship… How a woman should look like in the world, but it falls short…. What about how we should ‘be’ in the world. So we try, try to keep up appearances, smile despite screaming on the inside, take on more than we can handle, feel guilty when we want to do something for ourselves. There is something more…. If only you could see the gaze from your eyes and the power they now hold- the essence and the power of a woman that says ‘I know myself and I see things as they are’. The power of a woman that is prepared to have her heart broken to see truth. The power of a woman who is so vulnerable because she knows it to be pure strength bringing suppleness, opening her connection to All….. The power of a woman who accepts things as they are first, really feels everything…. And then, with openness, with compassion she steps up and allows the energy within to guide her as she surrenders over to becoming a channel of grace that is so needed now in this world. The power of a woman can connect tribes, can love barriers and bring them down, can nourish those who thirst for more by her mere presence and embodiment of that ‘more’ directing them back to themselves, can heal old wounds which never have a chance to scab and become a scar by simply witnessing, loving and validating them all. The power of a woman is needed, do not forget that. So please, cellulite may be present, wrinkles, saggy skin, bags underneath the eyes, please remember one thing: You are a powerful woman, we need more of THAT in the world.

With all my love and loads of hope,
Elise

Featured art by Lisa Royal
https://www.instagram.com/lisaroyleartist/