Let Go- Be Still and Feel it All (poem)

Floating yet grounded,
Being touched deeply within
Yet not at all
Beauty caresses and engulfs me
As I stand exactly where I am
In a time warp of entangled time
Tapping into desires unmet
Truth stabbing into my being
Like a long lost lover
From a long lost dream….
Twisting and turning,
Haunting me like a solo violin
Cutting through the thick air-
Of excitement, anticipation and fear….
A whisper echoes, traces of something
A scent left lingering
The energy felt
An inner stirring of a life once known
A deep remembering, a knowing
Rising to the surface
Wisdom speaks and says ‘be patient’
And so, I sit. I breathe this fire
Up and down and around my body
Igniting and fuelling every crevice
I am alone- yet intimately connected
Truth lies in timelessness-
In the gentle reminder
All will be revealed in time
Or perhaps not at all-
Let go:-
Be still, and feel….
Be still and feel…..
Be still and feel…..

Life: What Does it Mean to You?

Life. Love. Your world…. What does it mean to you? If you knew you had only a short period of time to live, how would you live life differently?- Would you live it differently? Would you be so concerned by what others thought of you? Would you somehow find a way to be more truthful? Would you alleviate those feelings of regret that lie deeply beneath the numbing, the busyness, the need to make more money, or have the perfect house/ boat/ or car? Would you possibly be more open to those things that scared you before, knowing your end is looming?

Seeing myself within my deathbed, as a reflection (as a meditation practice), looking over my life as it plays over in my mind, I can see all of the places which were not in truth so far. Things where I tried to ‘fit in’, or ‘belong’…. where I tried to impress others instead of being how I really wanted to be. Where I was running from myself and my own many truths I wouldn’t dare tell anyone else about in case I would not be accepted within my own family, friends and extended circles… so afraid of being the centre of gossip. Since doing this practice I have been able to see clearly my truths I once ran from- the powerful life exploding ones (that I’m in the middle of now) and the small seemingly inconsequential ones. I can open and share these things with my closest of friends. No one judged. They listened with openness. They helped me, wrapped me up in a warm blanket of support and supported me to be myself wherever I am, whatever the situation.

We all have something, no matter how minor it is, there are secrets within. Perhaps this path we call our life is to learn to accept our imperfection and little idiosyncrasies that make up our gorgeous authenticity, not to mention the energetic blueprints we all come in with as well (but that’s another blog). Oh, I have a vision of how each person who accepts themselves, ALL of themselves- is their own beacon of light, slightly different shape, or vibrancy or colour- but there it is, the acceptance of the wholeness, beautiful messiness of the human imperfect life within each of us. The bits we don’t like or wish to change, the parts of us that deny and judge others, wanting us to simply reclaim those parts that exists within us which were suppressed and we resist the rising of the surface of. If we look at things this way, perhaps the concept that we are all connected isn’t so difficult to comprehend?

Doing this deathbed practice has helped me to no longer run from the judgements I feared from others. I realised that I was the one leading this within my own head. I needed to accept all of me as it arose, whether it fitted in within societal norms or not.

Doing this deathbed practice has helped me to no longer run from the judgements I feared from others. I realised that I was the one leading this within my own head. I needed to accept all of me as it arose, whether it fitted in within societal norms or not. Whether things I chose to do with my life fitted in with my mentorship and previous training. Whether it aligned with the spiritual community’s expectations of me by even becoming a mainstream meditation teacher….There were so many things that needed to be let go, dissolved, seen and accepted by myself. It is divine timing now, that it is my turn to let go and step into what I am most aligned to do with my soul right now. And that’s letting everything go in my life that no longer resonates, that is no longer my truth. Letting go, despite others opinions. Letting go even though I can not see the road ahead clearly. Trusting and stepping. Trusting ands stepping. I don’t know about you, but I need to live aligned to what is most truthful for me. That is living and directs me which way to turn and when to step.

If you have things come to mind for you, this practice of visualising yourself close to death may help you, too. Now I see things that I ran from as trivial, as things that do not matter in the scheme of things. Add it to my life lessons so that I may share this with whomever. Who knows if this may help another?

The concept of time fascinates me…. do any of us truly know how much time we have left? That is the beauty of life- the unknown. No matter the money or job you have- death is the great equaliser and one that we run from. How do we know it isn’t a great release, beautiful and serene? We don’t. Imagine getting to the inevitable knowing with a soft, sweet smile, with the thought echoing within your mind you truly LIVED! You gave it a shot. You learnt heaps. You loved courageously. You surrendered to life and let it have its way with you. You allowed the energy within to tantalise you, to inspire you, to connect you more than you thought could have ever been possible. What an adventure…. Now it’s time to rest, brave one, rest in love and connection….

NB: this practice is intended to empower the individual rather than create anxiety. If facing the ultimate fear- death before physically dying, it can create the willingness to face things in life that pale in comparison.

All my love,
Elise.

Featured Image art by Tomasz Alen Kopera

A Discussion on Fear and an Invitation.

Life isn’t supposed to go to plan. How do we truly know what is the best for us anyway?

It feels important to admit that we don’t know. That this life baffles the mind- let’s face it we are born, we live a short childhood, a long adulthood and die (typically). Inside of that we need to make money to exist in this structure of society we live….. Fear can weigh us down. Recently, the thought crossed my mind ‘how did money become the main focus here?’. It somehow slips in when I am not looking and bunkers down deeply into my psyche like a bad house guest that won’t leave, stinking up the place. No. That’s not me, babe (Johnny Cash). I know that I KNOW there is something else and every time I get sucked into this fear based thinking I would love to be reminded- there’s more. I am going to check in with myself and ask: How do I feel right now? Just to pause and ask that question is going to help beyond the drama that may be going on.

I’ve decided to challenge myself, and feel free if you want to join me- I am going to ask myself the question, “Is this from fear or openness?” Then I can go into “How do I feel right now when I’m doing this/ being with this person/ going to work etc?” And finally, the best question of all, “What is the truth I am ready to see?”

I am going to challenge myself to live in the moment, to trust in the path, to make choices based on the above questions. If you feel ready, let’s do it together. Stay tuned…..

All my love,
Elise

Art by Oxana Poberejnaia

Woundings- Core Work and Opening to the Divine

Today I listened to the Great Marianne Williamson about forgiveness and releasing. She made some valid points – namely that we can choose to let the woundings, the lack of forgiveness, the judgements, the ‘fill in the blanks with your baggage’ and step into 2021 free of these, or at least consciously looking at them and being willing in any moment that life presents an opportunity to you- to change a behaviour or pattern that you ordinarily react with. Even a slight change can make a world of difference. She asked for all of us to collaborate in love. To be a collective of loving individuals prepared to change within for changes to occur outside of us. I love that. So here’s the thing that gets me. The hardest thing to do this in is relationships. I see this in sister wounds and group wounds. I see this in intimate relationships. I see this in relationship with Self. The more there is heaviness, or awkwardness provides the best manure for growth. This is the place to step into our woundings- whatever they are, and humbly see what’s there with compassion for self. We all f*#*k up from time to time.

It’s time we forgave ourselves and others. Open up to the mysteries, the magic, and the miracles that exist beyond our attachments to our heavy woundings.

It’s almost an identity we can have- “This happened to me when I was…. He did this….. My Mum did that….” The people involved, the situation, or whatever is there that is being held onto has power over you. The more unwilling to forgive is a reflection of YOUR inner world and not the person that did something to you or the circumstance that happened. Let’s go a little deeper:-

Victim: First recorded in 1490-1500 from the Latin word victima sacrificial animal (Dictionary .com).

When we look at this we are not animals- nor helpless, nor are we being sacrificed. We may be at the time of atrocities, of unfairness. But, we clearly are still alive- have not died. The alteration of the meaning of this word has taken away power. Forgiveness is the soul cleansing act that reclaims it. To get to forgiveness is to trudge through the woundings, or that which separates you from your essence and connection with others. This is an arduous task, but one that sings hauntingly to those who are called to the path of the soul and the lessons born to experience in this life. We are meant to make mistakes- that’s how we learn. Sometimes, people get hurt. We get hurt. We have a choice. To stay here- or to see it, honour it, LEARN from it- then let it go. In doing so we can then reach¬† place of forgiveness. It doesn’t grow on trees. It’s not a pill we can pop and then ALL will be forgiven. It’s life’s challenge to rise above, learn and grow. And this takes courage.


Hero/ Heroine: A person noted for courageous acts, or a person considered as a role model for certain traits.

When these are applied to the inner journey of truth, otherwise known as the Hero/ Heroines Journey (of which we are all here for in differing ways) is of true empowerment that ultimately leads us to have faith and let go and trusting one meets challenges and gathers the tools/ knowledge/ understanding needed to face them. When we look at ancient mystical teachings, opposites exist and must. Where there is light, there is dark; where there is feminine there is masculine; where there is cool there is heat etc. When there is a problem- there is also presented a solution. It is up to us to be the clear vessel to enable the solution to be embodied and lived. It is not just about logic. This is a soul deep immersion that spreads throughout the body. The mind can get the hell out of the way and in fact can be used in a manner to aid in the embodiment, complete immersion on the path. It must. Before the sword of truth goes outward, it first must be turned onto self so that we can see our woundings, or fears that may express unhealthily outward toward others. The ‘sword’ I speak of can be thoughts. When a negative thought comes up about another, turn it around. Look at it. With compassion know that this comes from somewhere within you and find that place. Sit with it. This is an investigation, thank that thought as this is a way to understand and release a wound or fear within you that otherwise would not be touched and essentially left to fester and ooze its way out and into our life. We have doctors and nurses who investigate our external physical wounds, letting us know if there needs to be more treatment, more investigation…. but our inner wounds are our responsibility. We have the answer within that comes when the wound arises. That we can trust in, when we do the work of looking at the truth within, we can open to the solutions. We just have to be prepared to see what’s happening and let go into the process of life to go on the journey to release them when they present.

So, our openness, our freedom, our life force is up to us. The more we hold onto woundings or judgements or other negative aspects of our mind, the more we move away from our power. When we have the courage and compassion to step into the challenges presented to us in our lives, the more we create space to let go, to unravel the pain and anger the wounds etc have on us, and forgive- not so much for the other person, but for ourselves and our growth whilst in this body.

Sending so much love and empowerment to you as you step into 2021. Know that you aren’t alone- we are all here to help walk each other home.
Elise

Featured Image by Shelley Klammer

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Grieving- Ways we can bring loving awareness

 
There is beauty in heart break. There are those moments when an allowing or surrendering to what is occurs. When surrendering to feelings happen… there is such grace and poise in the acknowledgement of emotions. It’s that picturesque moment to sit in truth, allowing the emotions to come through when tears stream down your face. There’s no where to turn except into the grief- be intimate with the grief. There are things to learn about Self here, always. Allow the emotions to swell, break the bank, do whatever is natural for them to get out of the body. Don’t hold onto them. And when the release is done, ask of it, “What do I need to learn here from you?” These questions don’t make the pain or hurt go away, nor should we turn away too soon in the grieving process. But the questions exist as a way to keep turning into Self and not outward. To keep on the soul path. Your soul path. Endings will occur- losses will come and go in life. Being able to feel it all and be so present, but also have a strong witness and feel for soul alignment is central for this path when we come across heart ache, or loss of some sort. Pay attention to stories attached to the emotions. Emotions come in waves, stories can make you feel something for a long time. Emotions are a part of the emotional body and are impermanent and stories are when the brain creates hell on earth for us. We lose presence when we allow our brain to conjure up things. There is a type of sacred union that doesn’t aid our soul journey, and that’s the sacred union between our emotions and brain.  
There are ways to grieve, like feeling, and allowing the natural cycle of the grieving process, learning truths about Self in this state. Sometimes grief will flow in all of a sudden and out again. This is something we CANNOT control! Perhaps that’s why as humans we tend to block or If we can stay present, we can learn a lot. This is consciously grieving, those on a spiritual path have a way of looking at their experiences to learn from them, as well as feel them. To know thyself deeper whilst hurting, this is like fertiliser – yes it’s poop, but it enriches us and deepens our courage and wisdom…. Another way is unconsciously grieving where we can create stories, project outwards at others in anger, stay as a victim therefore giving power away, subconsciously hurting others because the person grieving hasn’t grieved themselves, and re-entering painful life patterns. Behaviours of unconsciously grieving include numbing, avoidance, addiction, isolation, self sabotage. This can lead to depression and other mental illnesses.  
  
Grieving is a huge part of life and one that our society doesn’t do very well. It’s like there’s perhaps a fear that once a person starts crying they may not stop, or they don’t want to seem weak, or don’t want to make the other people feel uncomfortable. Whatever it is, emotions are a part of being human. It’s revolutionary to feel and express them. We aren’t machines, so why should we behave like them? Good questions to ask ourselves when we are grieving are:- 
  
 
What am I grieving?  
Is there are story?  
How can I surrender to this process?  
What do i need to support myself?  
Deleted: Am I spiritually by-passing (not being present to feeling the emotions)

Featured image by Fotodiale

For Now, I am my Own Lover

Oh, where is my muse? I whispered to myself. This is the first time I have been without a yearning for a specified other. No crush. No flirtation. No relationship. ‘Yourself’ whispered back my inner self. And so, I go on a quest deeply into myself so that there is no separation. I turn into myself with my yearning to unite, to merge, to become whole. I turn into myself and unleash my desires within me: I want to see all of my flaws, all of those things I hate about myself, all of those sticky unhealed wounds that still lay dormant not ready for exposure… I want to see my beauty, my bliss, my untethered ways: Let me see them, feel them, love them. Let me set it all free with love. Let me feel a thousand yes’s and the remaining timidity. Let me hear the screams of bliss and experience the pain of loneliness. Let me experience the blasting truth- vibrating out from my body and the agony of betrayal. Let me feel the mystical vibration of the All and the imperfection of humanness. I want it ALL. I am ready to have that relationship with myself. I am ready to commit to feeling my own energy as it rises and falls, explodes and lies dormant. No more turning my energy outwards. No. For now, I am my own Lover.

The Divinity of Passion

Sovereignty and Reclaiming our Sexual Energy

Don’t hide or numb that delicious shakti from the world. Let it burn, burn, burn…. Let it rise upwards within your body. Let it fuel your blood, let it feed your essence, let it charge your awakening- your rewiring of your very DNA. Surrender to that wild, natural, boundless state until the energy rises up so high within you that it’s sweetness yet pungent taste rests delicately and deliciously on your tongue and explodes outwards around you. A powerful explosion of life force energy spreading from your toes to the tip of your head… Your birthright. Your sovereign energy.

Dare to desire the burn of radiance, of reconnecting to the sexuality that innocently thrived within you as a child- but was later shunned, snubbed, weighed down with rules and constraints, tied down with fear of misinterpretation from others. This is an ancient power that once coursed through you uninhibited. That creates life and births out in the world. That limitless fuel- ours to open to and freely use when we desire within our very being. Time to shed our skin of guilt for experiencing passion, for desire, for our coursing sexual energy. Time to be the boundless gorgeous beings we are.

It is time once again to open to this. Let us remove the blocks that lie in the way. Let us step out of our hidden, guarded territory. Let us break down those well built walls that served it’s purpose to protect, but now….. now there is no enemy here. And if you are reading this, you are in a position in the world to be a beacon of light for this change to spread all around the world. It’s safe to stick your head out now. It’s safe to breathe in that sweet air. It’s safe to feel the way your body gently opens to the energies around you and within you. You are not alone in this return to becoming unbound.
This is your energy to feel within you….
Can you feel the invitation? The rumbling from deeply within?

Sending a huge love bomb,
Elise

Art by Benedigital

Enough is Enough

It breaks me. It makes me sink to my knees perplexed at how we have managed to end up here. In this place where it is a rarity to collectively feel relaxed, happy and content. Where we don’t say the words, ‘It’s just the way it is. What do you do?’ Do? DO?

I’m not buying it any longer. Stay on your lounge eating potato chips while the world around you slowly dies. Stay glued to the TV while you numb yourself from thoughts about the stresses of the days work. Stay looking at the next holiday so you can escape this madness for a while- maybe you can pay it off? Maybe you’ll get a nasty credit card bill that only adds to your stress when you return. Return. RETURN!

Return, that’s it. If you stay glued to this cycle then you won’t know what else life can offer…. and there IS SO MUCH MORE. But it takes guts. It takes change. It takes not fucking throwing your life away on sedentary, numbing, melancholic things or practices. It takes challenging yourself to learn new things. It takes doing things just for yourself to enjoy. It takes stopping those thoughts of ‘I can’t, I have no time.’ What have you done? To have no time to live? What has happened to you? When did you stop fucking loving yourself??? Leading by example of how interesting and limitless life can be? Did you ever watch your parents or an adult having no time as a kid? Did it look like fun? Did it look like a good use of energy? Time to break free of this outdated pattern structure within us. Don’t worry, your family will still exist and love you. It’s time to consciously look at why we do the things we do, and take our sovereign power back.

I’m not writing this to get you to feel shame. I’m writing this to shake you up, shake you a little to let some of the truth seep in. You are in charge of your life. Not your kids, not your husband, not your job…. YOU. Take responsibility for this and make the change. You know WHAT needs to happen inside. YOU know what YOU uniquely love. Come back to YOU. Even if it’s rising 30 minutes before the house hold to do something just for you- yoga, a work out, meditation, drawing, writing… whatever it is. Give yourself the time. Like a long lost friend coming to town to see you- you’d create time for them, right? Well, do it for YOU! Daily! What do YOU NEED? You’re bloody well worth it. And your relationships will thrive the more you thrive.

It’s time to give back to Self. It’s time to create space. It’s time to stop looking outwards and start to make the changes to come back into our own power. For when we shift our internal world, the world around us shifts too. And you become a beacon of light, living by example of the fact it can be done. Change can happen and it’s worth it, even if it’s an internal shift. Pass on the torch. Be the change. I’m with you.

With love
Elise

Art by Babs Art Creations

The Transmutation of the Shadows Within

What a gift it is to be aware of our shadows, our parts of Self we feel we need to hide or suppress….

The call is here. Seek the answer within.
Do it with vigilance.
Do it with integrity.
Do it for yourself…..
This takes so much courage to see those areas of yourself you mightn’t want to see. We all have them.

This is not for the light of heart. To be able to change a ‘fault’, or a ‘shadow’ aspect of Self that you do not like into a gift or deep wisdom is powerful. But you will metaphorically bleed…

It goes directly into the area most people wish to avoid.
It goes directly into the deep wounds.
It goes deeply into the constraints we feel upon us- whether we know where they come from or not.
It asks the Warrior part within to walk directly into the shadow- only this time with no Armour. This time with nothing but openness, curiosity and a willingness for transformation to take place- however that looks….

What is the deal? Let’s look at finally being able to accept all aspects of us. Those bits we might fear to even look at within Self. That old adage we should choose ‘love’ over fear is so on the money it’s not funny. The ultimate courage requires us to love so openly that we risk our heart being broken by people, by situations, and life events…. The breaking of the heart happens so that we return to rawness, to our essential nature. To a sweet humbleness…. To truly feel in a world of ‘numbing out’. To be able to become sensitive enough to be in union with the divine, but still walk the line of balance with being a warrior for ourselves- ultimately being vigilant in upholding our integrity, our healthy boundaries, our balanced ego, our soul connection- staying vigilant with our center at all times- knowing what feels amazingly aligned and what doesn’t.

There’s a new world being birthed. What is needed is people prepared to dive deeply and courageously into their truths; The wounding we were born with, those we collect in life- and work with them! Turn them over… What’s underneath this shadow work? Treasure. Pure treasure…. Your key to knowing yourself. Your key to being a powerful person living in authenticity. Your key for stepping out of victimization, numbing out, blame, disconnect, and playing small….. Your vivacious life awaits.
Do you have the courage?

It’s time….

Art by Pat Erickson
Written by Elise Heyward