The Call of the Dragon

What is it to be in this place of torment, in the mind,
In suffering but the human way?
What is it to love with conditions and place the weight of the world on ones own shoulders, or perhaps another’s?
What is it to feel so much that emotions overlap, rise and fall with each other?
What is it to be here in this body- even if you make mistakes and fall down
Time and time again?
What is it but being human?- Choosing to learn, grow and turn up as authentically ourselves.
The balance of giving and receiving, pushing and flowing, being human and divine, being in love and grieving… all at once.
We owe it to ourselves, to those who came before us, and to those who are after us to LIVE…. live- open and feel.
It is a courageously open soul that dares to feel all, and forgive all of the imperfections within ourselves and others
And dive into the space of truth, to feel the core of the soul burning so bright
That nothing can dull the love and light within, despite what is happening in life at that moment.
Nurture that inner flame, become that fire and listen to the call to breathe life and potent connection back into the world.

Elise Heyward

Letting Go in the Steadiness of the Unknown

The Universe  keeps us physically apart…
Surrendering control over to divine timing,
Both continuing to practice alone, preparing…
Stoking the sacred fire, preparing for the inevitable
If the stars should align, and then when they align….
The energy between us flows like ribbon, it moves in a figure of eight….
Through my mind, my throat, my body… I tremble as I open… breathe
It merges with my essence, moves me- writhing on my back…
Implores moans of sheer delight from my parted lips…
Oh this connection through the realms-
Oh, how it destroys all veils placed upon us by convention…no…
This…. this is something else, and is worthy of complete surrender…
This is the arrival of the response to my sacred yearning-
The echoing and haunting symphony of my soul, whole and ready
Calling in a lover with the sacred union blueprint….
Oh but sweet energetic lover, will you stand in this sacred fire willingly?
And let truth seer all that you have known?- Burn it away to nothing more than ash?
I feel you… Come… come…. come…..
Be in devotion to the sacredness that flows beyond and through and above and beneath the world that is shown to us…
Will you be pulled into this vortex to allow truth to guide the way?-
Letting go of all control, all conditioning around relationships?- all ways of how it ‘should be’, or ‘should look’?
Letting go of all conditioning around how life itself should be lived?
Can you look into the mystical dark abyss and see its many opportunities-
with love and acceptance, or shall you perish in the fear of it?
Would you dare to call this highest of vibrations home? – Honour it, devote yourself to the mystical truths to serve the truth and light always?
Could you call it home?- and serve the mystical flame that is birthed by us?
All of these questions I hand over to the divine, to the openness of space
And here I rest, I practice, I hold, I embrace
The steadiness of the unknown….

Written by Elise Heyward
Image by Nicebleed Art

Continue reading here for an article about ‘Deconditioning Marriage. Can it be done?’

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The Truth About Sacred Union…

The Parvati Myth:-
The Goddess of sacred union, devotional love. Her story derives from being an incarnate of a previous wife of the God Shiva. Shiva was in grief of the death of his wife and decided to meditate in a way that kept him in a state of being unable to be reached for ions of time, rendering him unable to fulfil his duties that were needed of him. So, it was decided to send down Parvati to awaken him from his meditation. Nothing she tried worked. He was not interested. She decided to devote herself to her own spiritual practice. Although she yearned so deeply for him, she chose to no longer be in suffering for him to come back and recognise her. It is said she meditated very often, she opened and moved her body to embody her flow, she stood on one leg in a running river…. Each day of inner devotion she did, her Shakti (energy) grew. Her inner flame grew so powerful that it erupted out of her in a glorious release of energy and continued to flow. This was felt by Shiva, who tested her devotion of him, and when her reply came in complete devotion, they embraced and began their gorgeous, glorious union- both whole and powerful and also choosing to merge together on occasions…. When they make love, the earth quakes, the trees receive and great healing light explodes around them- it is boundless, connected, wise and healing love.

When I was told many years ago, “You are a Parvati woman” by an astrology reader, I didn’t know what that meant. I knew something was missing from my life. Something was being yearned for- hidden somewhere deep within my psyche. Somewhere that wasn’t quite ready to be reached….

It wasn’t until I began diving deeply into the mystical truths years later through esoteric mystery schools, that I began to understand a smidge about what he was on about all those years ago. I had found my devotion, the fact that I innately knew that love was something not being represented in media, or in movies, or modelled by those who I saw as a couple…. At least in the way that I yearned it for myself…. The best way I can explain the inner knowing was that this was God somehow, but in union between two people, or in union within Self if not in relationship. It is a verb, not a noun. It is purity. It is grace. It is the great awakener. It cannot be contained within conditions of owning, of possessing, of having… and yet somehow can be…. It is enticing, it’s a riddle for the mind that can never be solved… It is to be surrendered to, and with every fibre of your being- yearned for.

This yearning for union with something so potent that it can fry your system if you do not have a guide, or are doing practices to support this deep and devotional voyage, and/or have tools to drop below or above the ego when it rises to be able to stay with your inner alignment. A balance between the two energies within (feminine and masculine) is needed to be able to come together within Self or with other in devotional, juicy, deep sacred union. It’s a huge journey. One where you will be constantly reminded by events that happen that ‘I know nothing’. Humbleness is key, we never can determine the outcome of such a quest as this.  For this sacred act is the un-manifest being born. It is a complete co-creation with the Universe, a letting go, a deepening into self being so present that there can be no return to the life you once lived. You cannot unlearn what you become…. and become you shall in this crazy journey should it be yearned for deep within your soul.

Sacred Union: What it is, Truly
You can read beautifully written articles on ‘whether your partner is a twin flame, or a soul mate’, you can read articles about runners and chasers within these contracts…. you can even read articles about how to draw one to you…. This is interesting on how crazy it can be on this path…. The mind actually takes over and becomes the Master- and the truth, the letting go, the being ok with the unknown takes the place of the servant. When the mind takes over it can make someone go into delusions…. into fantasy… fall back into conditioned expectations on how a relationship or inner awakening ‘should look’, and away from the truth that this energy holds, and if the control factor is released (which takes courage to trust in blind faith), it really is a magical divine dance with the Universe.

Interestingly, there isn’t much written about how it actually never (or rarely) aligns with your ego and what you think you want. The message that rings so potently in your ears when you come across a vibration so evenly matched with your own that it shakes up all of your systems at once and sends your energy off the richter scale for months and months…. heightens your senses and intuition…. and has nothing to do with romance (although it’s a nice idea, right)? The universe provides what your soul needs to learn in this partnership of sorts that is only a partnership in so far as it is aligned with soul growth. Life lessons of patience, of focusing on Self, of trusting the path, of opening despite ego wanting to protect yourself, of constantly choosing ‘love’ and divine mystical truths as opposed to fear and conditioning around what love is and what it should look like and all of the blocks to it. This is quite a steep slope to walk. If one or both are not ready or prepared with their own practices then the union will be completely ripped apart, not allowed to come together until or if there is alignment and wholeness within both parties…. Devotion of the self and your own soul path must be embodied before you can truly be devoted to another. Or at least be in the process of embodying this.

Now, this sounds cruel- keeping two souls apart who yearn sacred union- right? Wrong. This is potent, potent universal energy. If one or both are not in their power and alignment within themselves, then it can be a crazy, chaotic and powerful force very difficult to regulate within. Often this can lead to mental illnesses as the ego battles with being kept from the lover they want… as well as other physical ailments within the body.

A word of advice (from personal experience)- trust in the timing, always. If there are constant things in the way, then stay within your own practice, as Parvati did. Stay in your own alignment. You cannot control with the other is doing, however you can devote yourself to your own truth and prepare for the meeting should it occur with the same soul who you met, or with another aligned with you. Stay the course. Trust in the path. Let go. It is a delicate balance of yearning and self practice. The yearning is USED for the practice. Transmuted in the fire of sacred truth which burns away all that does not resonate with the sacred union of the highest vibration. Being at one and whole with Self is the practice. Continue this path if you are on it.

Burn baby, burn…..

All my love,
Elise

Art by Jah Ishka Lha

As I Leave the Land I Once Knew Behind (poem)

I don’t know how to be in this level of vulnerability
I feel I am on a tightrope of love or self destruction
Potency enters me from every direction
And I laugh out loud at the yearning I had for this….
Yearning, what a word, what a verb, what a state to be in….
Shifting my consciousness, beyond all desiring….
And yet, it so deliciously includes sweet, delectable desire….
So this is a path to draw all of the lessons, the practices,
The daily disciplined devotion to truth?- Ok, I get it….
What I didn’t understand was the sheer vulnerability
The willingness to be seen without my barriers
The human, sticky pieces of me still unhealed…
Revealed….. there for you to see, witness, feel….
And the devotion to throw out all roles I’ve played with others
Surrendering what I thought was my truth and identity
Again and again, like a serpent shedding her skin…
This is powerful and transformative and very, very fast….
I’ll rest atop of the giant expansive ocean, trusting and letting go…
Held by the mystical truths that my brain can not understand
Take me with the tides, further and further out and still…
Still I am here, floating, looking at the sky, breathing deeply…..
The water surrounds me, holds me, loves me,
It beckons for suppleness, opening and vulnerability
And I, I can no longer resist this depth, this truth….
As I leave the land I once knew behind….

Words by Elise Heyward
Art by Gioia Albano Soul Art. 

Using Sacred Union to Aide with Intuition

There is so much more at play. The physical is only the tip of the iceberg. In this video I jump into sacred union within and why it is so important to do this now- to become more connected to your intuition and feel safe doing it. By practicing this within and applying it in your daily life your vibration will rise and you will be in more alignment with your true self. I explain how I do it in my life and the process of direct application.

Sending love to you,
Elise

I am Holding Space as You Rise, Sister

I’m holding space for you as you find your legs again. As you learn to walk with allowing the wisdom of millions of years course through your veins once more. I’m holding with love as I see you stumble, and fumble, and fall on your knees.

I’m witnessing your courageous rise as you dare to stand back up, and embody all of the woman your ancestors call for you to be, the woman you desire to be.… I am holding as your heart splits open, and you feel the cries and screams of atrocities in the world.. in your world… And I’m holding whilst you let them move through your body- in all of its moving and shaking wisdom to let it go…. I’m lovingly witnessing the merging of your deep wisdom, the unravelling of the delicate chords within your throat so that your beautiful voice is heard, is felt, is radiated outwards as it interrupts, disrupts and creates space for the healing and lovingly unravels of the damage of thousands of years of disempowerment, fear and disconnect from your own truth….

I am in awe holding you as you release the fears, the torture, the trauma within, and I witness you open to deep connection…. I see you flow with your own inner desires, and watch you move as your inner truth becomes visible through your dance and movement. I witness your rage, your screams… your powerful cutting of chords that have kept you in doubt and so, so small…. I watch you light a match when all of the stories are ready to be transmuted, and I watch you set fire to it all- letting the stories burn. As I see the tears fall silently, and grace fill your body and face, I see you accept yourself and everything you have been through up until this very moment…. I see you rise in your rawness, in your beauty, in your truth, your authenticity…. I hear your song low and high, sweet and powerful… connected and with so, so much love, and deep, deep experienced wisdom…. I see you in every woman who steps up to claim her rightful space here in this world. In this moment. The sacredness, the love, the connection, the compassion, the raw bloody truth of it all.… I hold space for you, my love. It is time…

All my love,
Elise

P.S. There will be a gathering of women to move and meditate starting February, 2022. Stay tuned….

Art by Anna Rose Bain

 

 

Turning Around and Facing the Unknown (reflection)

I can remember holding space for a mystery school over in America a couple of years ago. There was a process where I was called to join in with the women. In the centre of the group was the group of people I was patterned to process with- slightly lower vibration, beautiful, but for me at this moment in time it was comfortable. I moved toward what I had always known and just like that, one of the women ran from behind me and took that place- like a door closing. I was in no where land. I wouldn’t turn around, but I could feel the pull to something I have never experienced. To that which scared me so much. But I had so yearned it at the same time- sacred union in process. I wouldn’t turn. The facilitator said multiple times, “There’s another process to take place here…” And still, I didn’t let myself move, forcing myself out of processing. I got in the way of the simple divine unravelling. Before long the session ended and I was left with a vital lesson that I am now applying to my life:-

When faced with a decision that excites me and scares me a little, it fills me with joy and challenges me- I will allow myself to turn and face it, surrender and let life flow through me and trust each moment to step, move or touch in whatever I am called to, in devotion of everything including my very life…. Or the other choice is to stay with my back turned to other possibilities my life has to offer and remain within the well worn tracks the spinning wheels make in my life staying with what is. For me, I feel I have travelled along the path enough to feel that going back to what has proven ‘comfortable’ to me is no longer available, the door is shut. And I know what way I am going to continue to choose to live every moment of my life from now on….

With love,
Elise

Image from Disnep

Life…. The Journey and Reflections (musing)

At the core of this journey we are all on called life, I can’t help but be amused, dragged through the mud and chewed up and spat out every time I think that I have this whole thing understood. It really is very humbling. I was talking to a friend on the phone yesterday when I came across where true courage to take on that conscious journey in life (heroines or heroes journey) lies and how it shows up. I realised that I was taking this whole ‘life thing’ so seriously that I wasn’t having fun, or enjoying the simple things like smelling flowers or slowing down to enjoy the sweet taste of a piece of fruit. No- I had become so invested in my spiritual journey that I wasn’t able to truly immerse myself in my life. I thought deeply underneath, that I had to do my spiritual work ‘separately’. But by doing that I was creating duality in my world, and losing my concentrated energy within- essentially my essence was seeping out. That manifested into my physical world with becoming more tired than usual, and feeling like I had not much time to myself. When I decided to go easy on myself, to immerse myself into whatever was presenting itself to me in life, I am finding it was creating such a rich, fertile experience for me to experience in the moment, and it became a beautiful way for me to reflect upon to get to know myself in a deeper way. I realise there is no difference between me going away on retreat, or staying home and truly being present AND participating with what is going on around me, in front of me and within me. I need not separate spirituality with the physical world, for it is in it. It is one. It is that which makes us whole. To be present in our lives is the spiritual practice for our soul. Acceptance of what is, having no resistance to how things are in the moment, and from here in the truth of how something is in the moment brings us to the depths and heights. Brings us to love. To God. To something far greater than our individual lives we lead: Truth.

Is it as simple as not wishing to be elsewhere, or wishing things to be different than what they are? Or wanting something? Is it really pointing to where we are to see the truth of our life as it stands now? To be in it. To turn up. Now, in this moment?- without worrying about the next move, or the one after that? Is it really as simple as the great Sufi Poet Rumi once wrote, “Wherever you stand, be the soul of that place?” Breaking this sentence down, for me, I experience this quote to mean something along the lines of:- Being unashamedly who I am, aligning with the integrity of that in any given moment, and having loyalty to Self first so that truth can be lived, felt, spoken and expressed.To me, this sentence encapsulates the very essence of the heroines/ heroes journey. It isn’t at all what I had previously thought it to be…..

Featured image by Kevin Moffatt

To connect with Elise’s work, join her 4 week Zoom meditation group here

 

Your Passionate Servant (poem)

I wish I could make you feel
the light that I see in you
The light that I feel flooding through
my body, through trees….and everything…
The energy that wants you to stop
That wants you to feel and not think
That wants you to experience- not force.
Faith is a burning deeply within me
Tears form in the knowing we are one
I can’t convince anyone, but I can know it
In my bones, in my whole body, in my hair
In every single cell in my body….
There is more.
There.
Is.
More.
I’ve seen it. I’ve felt it. I’ve embodied it.
That which cannot be spoken… in concentration.

But every now and then you get glimpses of IT
In everyday life-
In your deja vu, or when you fall in love-
In that first precious ignition
That…. That- there IT is….

Know this:-
I serve one thing- IT-  the light in you and me
In everyone. That truth, that power, that grace, that love….
That perfectly balanced energy beyond the individual
But within each of us…..
So, I will be here. Loving, passionately devoting myself
To that…. all of that…. Nothing less…
No matter if you see it or not.
I will still continue…
I will still continue…
I will still continue…
Your passionate servant

The Mountain to Cross

Sometimes it can feel like you would like someone else to just step up and make really hard life decisions for you. Sometimes, the truth underneath it all feels like a fear to take the wrong step, the wrong decision, the wrong path…. And so, it can seem like an eternity standing in one place, hearing the potent whispers of what is on the other side, but knowing there is a mountain to cross first.

What if there is no wrong step in life, and we’ve been fed a lie to strive for perfection, to figure out what we want and ‘go for it’, to ‘settle down’…..
But life…. life doesn’t run according to the rules in our own mind of how it should look. Perhaps life is meant to be humbling, meant to break us to feel our core, to let the light in, to allow love into every part of us, to have deeper relationships with ourselves and others…..

It’s all okay. To be still and not step is okay. To step in a direction is okay. To run in a direction is okay. It’s all going to be that mountain. Breathe. Stay with it, be in it, learn from it.

Each path you choose, whether stationary, slowly moving, or sprinting, will give the opportunities for the lessons your life will bring.
Be in the present….. Practice being in the present….. Allow the exploration and living to come. Trust yourself and your path. Enjoy your life. Change the things you can change, let go of the rest. Don’t waste time worrying. Practice being in the moment. The future really is the unknown. So live… Taste more, touch more, smell more, feel more, allow yourself to feel joy and happiness in the midst of chaos. This is your life.

All my love,
Elise