The Mountain to Cross

Sometimes it can feel like you would like someone else to just step up and make really hard life decisions for you. Sometimes, the truth underneath it all feels like a fear to take the wrong step, the wrong decision, the wrong path…. And so, it can seem like an eternity standing in one place, hearing the potent whispers of what is on the other side, but knowing there is a mountain to cross first.

What if there is no wrong step in life, and we’ve been fed a lie to strive for perfection, to figure out what we want and ‘go for it’, to ‘settle down’…..
But life…. life doesn’t run according to the rules in our own mind of how it should look. Perhaps life is meant to be humbling, meant to break us to feel our core, to let the light in, to allow love into every part of us, to have deeper relationships with ourselves and others…..

It’s all okay. To be still and not step is okay. To step in a direction is okay. To run in a direction is okay. It’s all going to be that mountain. Breathe. Stay with it, be in it, learn from it.

Each path you choose, whether stationary, slowly moving, or sprinting, will give the opportunities for the lessons your life will bring.
Be in the present….. Practice being in the present….. Allow the exploration and living to come. Trust yourself and your path. Enjoy your life. Change the things you can change, let go of the rest. Don’t waste time worrying. Practice being in the moment. The future really is the unknown. So live… Taste more, touch more, smell more, feel more, allow yourself to feel joy and happiness in the midst of chaos. This is your life.

All my love,
Elise

No more Resistance

I surrender, Oh I can no longer put up the walls before truth
Of love, of the ultimate connection
Of passionate embodiment, of laying alone,
Of being touched by that which cannot be explained
Of that which flows through my body,
Of that which I denied for lifetimes
Of that which no longer harbours denial.
No, take me beyond-
So far beyond that I am deeply, oh so deeply embedded within myself.
So that there is no separation
I gently,
quietly
humbly
surrender
Oh, use these hands to do your will,
Use my eyes to dwell upon what I must,
Use my heart as a doorway to you
Use my body for deep connection
Take me beyond the smallness
I may wish to keep or my own egotistical reasons
Take me beyond, far beyond.
Let my soul touch and be touched by you
Let me serve you within me and without me.
Let there be a sacred connection, a bond, a knowing
That can never be spoken, such is the truth.
Let me serve the unknown, rich and potent.
I am yours…..

Featured Art by Jeffrey Lohrius
Written by Elise Heyward

Let Go- Be Still and Feel it All (poem)

Floating yet grounded,
Being touched deeply within
Yet not at all
Beauty caresses and engulfs me
As I stand exactly where I am
In a time warp of entangled time
Tapping into desires unmet
Truth stabbing into my being
Like a long lost lover
From a long lost dream….
Twisting and turning,
Haunting me like a solo violin
Cutting through the thick air-
Of excitement, anticipation and fear….
A whisper echoes, traces of something
A scent left lingering
The energy felt
An inner stirring of a life once known
A deep remembering, a knowing
Rising to the surface
Wisdom speaks and says ‘be patient’
And so, I sit. I breathe this fire
Up and down and around my body
Igniting and fuelling every crevice
I am alone- yet intimately connected
Truth lies in timelessness-
In the gentle reminder
All will be revealed in time
Or perhaps not at all-
Let go:-
Be still, and feel….
Be still and feel…..
Be still and feel…..

Life: What Does it Mean to You?

Life. Love. Your world…. What does it mean to you? If you knew you had only a short period of time to live, how would you live life differently?- Would you live it differently? Would you be so concerned by what others thought of you? Would you somehow find a way to be more truthful? Would you alleviate those feelings of regret that lie deeply beneath the numbing, the busyness, the need to make more money, or have the perfect house/ boat/ or car? Would you possibly be more open to those things that scared you before, knowing your end is looming?

Seeing myself within my deathbed, as a reflection (as a meditation practice), looking over my life as it plays over in my mind, I can see all of the places which were not in truth so far. Things where I tried to ‘fit in’, or ‘belong’…. where I tried to impress others instead of being how I really wanted to be. Where I was running from myself and my own many truths I wouldn’t dare tell anyone else about in case I would not be accepted within my own family, friends and extended circles… so afraid of being the centre of gossip. Since doing this practice I have been able to see clearly my truths I once ran from- the powerful life exploding ones (that I’m in the middle of now) and the small seemingly inconsequential ones. I can open and share these things with my closest of friends. No one judged. They listened with openness. They helped me, wrapped me up in a warm blanket of support and supported me to be myself wherever I am, whatever the situation.

We all have something, no matter how minor it is, there are secrets within. Perhaps this path we call our life is to learn to accept our imperfection and little idiosyncrasies that make up our gorgeous authenticity, not to mention the energetic blueprints we all come in with as well (but that’s another blog). Oh, I have a vision of how each person who accepts themselves, ALL of themselves- is their own beacon of light, slightly different shape, or vibrancy or colour- but there it is, the acceptance of the wholeness, beautiful messiness of the human imperfect life within each of us. The bits we don’t like or wish to change, the parts of us that deny and judge others, wanting us to simply reclaim those parts that exists within us which were suppressed and we resist the rising of the surface of. If we look at things this way, perhaps the concept that we are all connected isn’t so difficult to comprehend?

Doing this deathbed practice has helped me to no longer run from the judgements I feared from others. I realised that I was the one leading this within my own head. I needed to accept all of me as it arose, whether it fitted in within societal norms or not.

Doing this deathbed practice has helped me to no longer run from the judgements I feared from others. I realised that I was the one leading this within my own head. I needed to accept all of me as it arose, whether it fitted in within societal norms or not. Whether things I chose to do with my life fitted in with my mentorship and previous training. Whether it aligned with the spiritual community’s expectations of me by even becoming a mainstream meditation teacher….There were so many things that needed to be let go, dissolved, seen and accepted by myself. It is divine timing now, that it is my turn to let go and step into what I am most aligned to do with my soul right now. And that’s letting everything go in my life that no longer resonates, that is no longer my truth. Letting go, despite others opinions. Letting go even though I can not see the road ahead clearly. Trusting and stepping. Trusting ands stepping. I don’t know about you, but I need to live aligned to what is most truthful for me. That is living and directs me which way to turn and when to step.

If you have things come to mind for you, this practice of visualising yourself close to death may help you, too. Now I see things that I ran from as trivial, as things that do not matter in the scheme of things. Add it to my life lessons so that I may share this with whomever. Who knows if this may help another?

The concept of time fascinates me…. do any of us truly know how much time we have left? That is the beauty of life- the unknown. No matter the money or job you have- death is the great equaliser and one that we run from. How do we know it isn’t a great release, beautiful and serene? We don’t. Imagine getting to the inevitable knowing with a soft, sweet smile, with the thought echoing within your mind you truly LIVED! You gave it a shot. You learnt heaps. You loved courageously. You surrendered to life and let it have its way with you. You allowed the energy within to tantalise you, to inspire you, to connect you more than you thought could have ever been possible. What an adventure…. Now it’s time to rest, brave one, rest in love and connection….

NB: this practice is intended to empower the individual rather than create anxiety. If facing the ultimate fear- death before physically dying, it can create the willingness to face things in life that pale in comparison.

All my love,
Elise.

Featured Image art by Tomasz Alen Kopera

Surrender, Open, Merge, Allow (poem)

Let go…. let go into the night sky
No different from the expanse of the ocean….
Somewhere between the two,
In the space where the ocean and sky meet
Is where we rebirth- you and me…
Floating with both above and below
The invitation on the swell of the ocean
And the touch of the gentle breeze
Both praying for the same thing:
They whisper in unison,
From above, and from below
Poised in timeless, weightless space:-

“surrender, open, merge, allow…

surrender, open, merge, allow…

surrender, open, merge, allow….”

For there is more than what you see
More than just making money,
Or upholding the norm….
More than the friends you have
or the family you’re from…
The sacred mysteries come,
Come knocking and inviting,
Patiently inquiring and merging
within the depths of your soul.
“Is there more?” You’ve asked yourself before
And to this the answer you shall have
when opened to explore…
Courage is to open, to feel to trust
In the path not revealed,
but rather constantly unravelling…
But oh, what an exciting life awaits
On the other side of fear and restrictions.
More than a mere temptation,
And more than you’ve been told exists….
It beckons and becomes too loud to ignore
It’s down to choice and a willingness to see
At how passionate, and full, and sweet life can really be…

Written by Elise Heyward
Art by Nari

A Discussion on Fear and an Invitation.

Life isn’t supposed to go to plan. How do we truly know what is the best for us anyway?

It feels important to admit that we don’t know. That this life baffles the mind- let’s face it we are born, we live a short childhood, a long adulthood and die (typically). Inside of that we need to make money to exist in this structure of society we live….. Fear can weigh us down. Recently, the thought crossed my mind ‘how did money become the main focus here?’. It somehow slips in when I am not looking and bunkers down deeply into my psyche like a bad house guest that won’t leave, stinking up the place. No. That’s not me, babe (Johnny Cash). I know that I KNOW there is something else and every time I get sucked into this fear based thinking I would love to be reminded- there’s more. I am going to check in with myself and ask: How do I feel right now? Just to pause and ask that question is going to help beyond the drama that may be going on.

I’ve decided to challenge myself, and feel free if you want to join me- I am going to ask myself the question, “Is this from fear or openness?” Then I can go into “How do I feel right now when I’m doing this/ being with this person/ going to work etc?” And finally, the best question of all, “What is the truth I am ready to see?”

I am going to challenge myself to live in the moment, to trust in the path, to make choices based on the above questions. If you feel ready, let’s do it together. Stay tuned…..

All my love,
Elise

Art by Oxana Poberejnaia

The Process of Letting Go Into Change

The Process of Letting Go Into Change

It takes courage to look at your life with a willingness to start again. To have nothing. To surrender it all. Below is a piece for YOU. Know that you are not alone, and somehow, perhaps you can have refuge in these words, as I did watching them being typed out of my fingers. This is not a ‘how to’, or self help article. This is from one human to another. May your choices be aligned. May you feel free to live your most authentic life. May you feel connected to yourself, to others and beyond…..

Sending love and loads of hope for your journey,
Elise

No longer is it the gentle kiss as a whispered reminder of that which I cannot enter, but a deluge, a flooding, making its way through everything, dripping, drenching drowning the life I had thought up for myself containing the labels, the roles, the absolute identity…. and now…. now it is all being flooded in the rain that keeps flowing, in the tears that trickle down my face, in the swollen rivers and lakes pregnant with truth and leaking it out everywhere….. I know that I know….. Truth has a way of coming out…. Turn my face and pretend that the rivers do not spill, that the banks and their foundations are being destroyed. Pretend to be as I once was, content with the life I had created for myself, but not harbouring the whole truth until now it pulses and knocks down my door, breaks my windows and rampages through the safe house I had built, content but somewhere within deeply yearning…. I am holding onto the back door, swinging in the rampage, gripping onto the perception of who I thought I was. My fingers slipping, water pummels my head, my body, my eyes so that I cannot see… It comes strong and powerful yet with a whisper of a message, “Let go, let go, let go….”

 

The River and Her Divine Flow (poem)

The river has her banks filled to the brim
It skirts the rocks and land formations
She moves and turns….
Rises and flows…
As the banks attempt to contain her,
Holding firm as she caresses the sides,
Writhing, rising, gently massaging
Until the banks, firm and contained
Begin to crack and falter…
The foundations crumble
As the river claims her expanded form
Dancing, moving in her new found freedom
She tiptoes beyond her known contained river
And flows through the landscape…
Making love, being in sacred union
With the rocks and the deep caverns….
Life spills from her luscious flow
As the landscape surrenders to meet her…
Birthing lakes, creeks and ponds
Creating new life from this loving adventure.

Written by Elise Heyward

Art by Shelby Robbins

As Deep and as High as You Want to Go….

You present yourself with gorgeous, deep roots-
Plump, pulsing with life and maze-like
Still within the package, clear and holding
You sit contained- unaware, naive…
I am entrusted to cut the end-
Pull you through and into this world
It’s as if you take your first breath….
Your roots entwine upon themselves
I gently, so gently massage them,
Patiently and lovingly sing you a song….
Until that moment of release and surrender-
And you are freed from your bonds.
Placed into the fertile soil.
Alone but lovingly adored.
There to grow as you wish,
As deep and as high as you want to go…