De-conditioning Marriage. Can It Be Done?

We have a chance to really create what we want to live. What is it you want in relationship? What components shall you keep? What really aligns with your soul? What parts really make your body, heart and mind sing? What parts feel heavy, outdated or simply adopted from outside influences and leaves your body jacked up and painful? What makes you more connected to that ‘yes’ feel, and what makes you feel more disconnected? Where can you make more space for yourself and your life? Where do you focus on making money and career more than love and connection?

In relationship, how do you want to be? What was shown to you during childhood? Is that it?- Is that what you want? Or was it distorted? Filled with martyrdom and stress, duty and lacking in awareness, connection? What if I was to say there is another way…. YOUR WAY. It’s not selfish, it’s soul alignment and can actually bring two people in relationship closer together, or it could make two people realise that the alignment is no longer there- or was never there in the first place and help aid in moving along the inevitable and cease living in discontent and resentment- sometimes relationships are simply not meant to be…. Or it can help you to realise what you really do want in a relationship and help you to spot red flags you may be blind-sighted by early in relationship.

I have been going into the energetics of Juno, and it’s been ripping me apart in the best possible way. You see, I have been feeling this particular energy within me for a few years, could feel it building. And, I can say I am in alignment with it in the way I know what I do not want…. but that is only 50% of the embodiment of this part of me, and really going within the shadows hidden within me in relation to sacred marriage, vows, long term relationships and commitments…. It’s one hell of a journey! What I’ve discovered is this, there is so much gunk in the collective (everyday world and consensus) that we need to live a certain way- the nucleus family within one home, under one roof raising children. Now, many people are becoming aware of this not suiting everyone. I myself attempted to live this way and it does not feel good in my body. I need space- a lot of space. I love children, but I need space from that as well…. For me, I am creating the life that feels good within step by step. I have no idea of how it will look in another year from now, but I feel the merging of more of what I want slowly happening…. The more I feel and step, the more amazing it’s feeling in my body.

So, this Juno Goddess is really pointing out what I no longer wish to have in relation to how I live my life from my home, sacred marriage with other (should one arrive- ok lets face it, it is in my chart to be in long term sacred union with other), and how I am going to be with my children moving forward. Now, looking at the ‘way it’s always been’, the woman should take all of the Motherhood duties, domestic duties, earn less (or not at all) money, and if that doesn’t align with you then you are judged- even by self, and a term ‘Mothers Guilt’ has been created for this very thing. It’s real. Yes. It’s not easy. But it feels 10,000 times better than staying in a relationship in conditions and vows that are no longer applicable to the woman you have become now. If you need permission to explore in your own life, then consider this to be it! Psst- there is more….

Juno/Hera was wife to Jupiter/Zeus, the most powerful of the Gods. Her husband was well known to break their monogamous vows by sleeping with others (Goddesses and humans), and fathering many more offspring as a result. It is said Juno was embarrassed and often distorted in how she would plan to get back at her husband… or become so angry with the situation….. she would even take time out for herself and then return to the marriage she was unhappy in. Unfortunately, power dynamics were existing between this married couple and it was not a happy marriage. Juno represents the wife being dutiful, being loyal, abiding by the vows of marriage despite them being broken by the other in the sacred contract. She is a reminder of how we can, as women (or men) lose ourselves in relationship, and how women did and still do often subconsciously and consciously give away identity in order to be betrothed to or to remain with a partner. Taking on a last name is one physical way, but may also include things such as liking things the other person likes, and letting go of the things you like.

Taking on these lessons, what is it you would really like to have in relationship? What can you build within yourself that are non- negotiable even if you are in a long term relationship? How can you honour sacred relationship and stay soft, supple and open to receive what you really want?- and not default into something that you haven’t co-created. Juno represents maturity….. so also reflect within and notice all of the times you have been immature? Or had really high expectations of other? Or lacked communication due to a barrier to love you have put up around your heart.

I used to judge this archetype, and clearly this part of me. It wasn’t time before to enter into this goop where conditioning, shadows of huge power-plays within the patriarchy and victimhood or distorted feelings and expressions within the feminine exist in this line. But, now it is. I honour the path I have walked so far- witnessing my Great Grandmother, my Grandmother, and my Mother in how they were/ are in marriage that at times wasn’t that great, and at times was glorious. Relationships are one thing- messy. And navigating ourselves within it is truly a difficult path to walk, but a necessary one for relationships to evolve from the unequal power dynamics and strong hold that a patriarchy lead society has gained- to an open, loving, evolutionary, supportive, changing, sacred marriage that I know can exist equally between two souls as we walk this earth in these glorious bodies.

To those of us paving the way- go forth and create what you want from within- out!

It’s going to be mammoth- I can feel it in my bones!

All my love,
Elise

Art ‘Juno’ by Felix Freudzon

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