Grief- I Wouldn’t Have It Any Other Way….

It is thick, gluggy- without flow
All else outside of this startling moment
Is non- existent, or rather cannot make its way in-
To nestle its way within my layers in any form of intimacy.
The only thing I can be intimate with is grief
Heavy, deep, thick grief.
It cannot be controlled by the mind
Or else it shall be blocked and the energy trapped…
It cannot be tamed or slayed
Or else its head shall rise like a serpent striking
When I least want it to…
No…. no… this heaviness needs its space to be within me.
And all I have to do is surrender to the intimacy
I have at this moment with my humanness expressing itself
through grief. And although I know this too shall pass-
I mustn’t turn away from how I feel. I open and turn to it
Welcoming it into my home as it has in fact arrived….
Gluggy, thick and slow I feel every ounce of it….
It slowly releases some energy as the tears fall silently….
Heart open, supple, raw…. feeling… feeling… feeling….
Giving it space to move if and when it wants to….
Knowing that I’ve got myself through all of this…
Holding my torch, trusting the timing of it all…
No matter the loss- all is still present, here now.
Open and receiving the gifts that living a life has-
One of them being the ability to feel emotions.
It’s what souls crave, what we are here for:
To be human and experience everything that comes with it.
The journey is a wild one, but wow- what a ride….
I wouldn’t have it any other way….

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