Boundaries and the Need to Set Them

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Boundaries have never been more important than now to put into place. When putting boundaries into place, it’s important to have an awareness of how you are feeling, and consider what it is you need for yourself in that moment. If you are doing this for yourself and it is a genuine need, or if there is a closed off feeling against the other person you are setting a boundary against, meaning there could be a soul lesson underneath. Most times we are yearning to have time to Self, without having any other influence coming into us. This can be tricky. There is a way to start, though, and gain more clarity in the type of boundaries you need to set, and whether they truly need to be set at all. First of all, we need to make ourselves a priority. Really simple practices in the physical can aide us in understanding ourselves and what we truly need for ourselves.

1. Looking less at your phone. Not making it the first thing you look at of a morning, and the last thing you look at before going to bed at night. The repercussions are huge. Creating a time when you look at your emails and social media after opening up time for self means that you maintain a healthier you, a stronger you. A nurtured you. Schedule it in, you’ll thank yourself for it after a week of doing this.

2. Schedule in time to work and time to play surrounding yourself first. Open up to others when you feel connected to yourself. Reminder: To the Mothers out there: This can be done (mother of two boys here), there needs to be a bit more structure.

3. Use an analogue watch for a while to limit the distractions and if you use a phone to tell you the time, then it limits the chance of going into the vortex of social media when it wasn’t your intention to do so.

4. Being present with yourself. Is there someone who is taking up your thoughts? Sit with that and create some time to allow some meditation in relation to this. Do not feel pushed to reply straight away. Do it in your own time, with a response rather than a reaction as we can also do if triggered. There are some great mindfulness meditations, as well as inquiry meditations out there which help this. By taking your time, and discovering what lies underneath the energy and the need to create healthy boundaries so that you stop giving your power away to others.

A late massive change in my life that has created more time for me, more ability to check in with myself and how I am feeling, and less of what others are thinking, or trying to contact me, is that I started wearing an analogue watch, instead of using the phone to tell the time. I had put my phone on silent to not be interrupted, however when I checked the time it was too easy for me to enter the world of the internet, Facebook, Instagram, and responding to messenger messages.

Where is your attention wavering? What are you giving your attention to? Where do you take it from yourself? People pleasing is a shadow behind answering a message to someone who you may not want to communicate with right now, however feel the need to because they reached out to you. This has happened recently to me, and I sat and asked in meditation and reflection and the answer was given- boundaries. So, considering the universal law of what is in one is in the whole, I figured I wasn’t alone in the lesson.

Boundaries can be about making small changes to create more space and time to be with yourself and within your own energetics. Another aspect that helps to create healthy boundaries is really to communicate what you need. Then enact the boundary. That way everyone is on the same page and it is beyond the physical act itself- there is an explained reason for doing so.

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